101 Writing Tips from an Exhausted Reviewer

Showing vs Telling

Life is a highway. [telling]

Life's like a road that you travel on -- when there's one day here, and the next day gone. Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand, sometimes you turn your back to the wind. [showing]

There. Case in point. Life is like a road that you travel on, and there's a lot of convincing description to tell me why that is the case. 

... Am I... Am I taking these songs too far?

4. Showing through internal monologue can tell you so much about the character. [Moana]

When the reader can feel the character's longing, their desires, their hopes... That is what makes them invested in the story. We love reading stories about characters we genuinely empathise with. That's why it's important to show us, rather than tell us, about your characters. Rhetorical question is great for this!

Moana really wanted to know how far she'll go. [telling]

See the light as it shines on the sea? It's blinding! But no one knows how deep it goes. And it seems like it's calling out to me, so come find me. And let me know what's beyond that line; will I cross that line? [showing]

Yes, I've definitely taken these songs too far. Anyways! As you can see, Moana really makes the reader empathise. She doesn't directly tell us that she wants to know how far she'll go, but she shows it to us -- she keeps asking us questions about the sea, she hears it calling out to her, and she's so fascinated by the whole premise of it. 

5. Showing can take the reader to the setting of the story. [Frozen]

Elsa is the queen of showing, and she'll show it to us again in just a second. But, basically, you want the reader to be there. You not only want them in on the action, but you want them to see and feel what the character is seeing and feeling. You want them to feel the mood of the setting -- whether it be gothic, enchanting, exciting, or dull. 

No one was on the mountain. [telling]

The snow glows white on a mountain tonight -- not a footprint to be seen. [showing]

The second example gives a more prominent image of what Elsa is seeing and feeling. 

Now, if Disney (and/or Pixar, please don't make me go into movie politics) can do it, so can you! 

But how do we do it? It's simple, really: 

- Use more descriptive verbs. Why say 'walk' when you can say skip? Amble? Stomp? Stroll? Stumble? 

- Be specific through your use of adjectives. Okay, sure, the house had walls. Green walls? Cracked walls? Bloodied walls? Spotless walls? Can you see how all of those walls lead to a completely different image? Why am I asking so many questions? 

- Sensory details. If you're going to say the house is creepy, what makes it creepy? What would we see? Hear? Smell? Feel? Taste, even though I'd prefer it if your characters weren't licking the cracked, green, bloodied walls? 

- Dialogue. If you want to depict a certain emotion from a certain character, they can show it through dialogue. Instead of "The readers were angry because Sunshine started singing Christmas carols in March", try: 

"Sunshine!" the readers snapped. "For the love of Dancing Noodles, will you please just shut up?" 

BUT WAIT! Didn't you say that telling can be good? 

I did, indeed! Scandalous, indeed! But here are some instances where telling can be used effectively: 

- Telling can be used to emphasise the showing. Sometimes, authors like to say 'All she felt was pain' before launching into what that pain felt like. Or they describe the pain with vivid detail, and then go on to say, 'It bloody hurt like hell'. They do this to reinforce points, or to be more direct and blunt to catch the reader off-guard. 

- Telling can be used to set up exposition. Sometimes, it's more fun to kickstart a story or a chapter with telling the reader a summary of the chapter to come. Let's imagine the story is about Elsa, who has suddenly decided she is in love with, um, Olaf. Some people would think it's hilarious to start the story with: 

I think I want to make out with a snowman. 

Yes, it's directly telling the reader. But that makes it more comedic, and sets up the rest of the chapter (which, by the way, I am not ever going to write).

- Telling can be used to speed-up unimportant events. Let's face it -- the reader does not want to see the entire commute on the train if nothing significant even happens on it. So, instead of showing the reader the process of brushing the teeth, eating breakfast, walking out the door, closing the door behind them, walking to the train station, fighting off a nearby passenger who looked like a chipmunk, and getting on the train before falling asleep while reading 101 Writing Tips, you can simply sum it up by saying:

After blowing a kiss to her parents-who-actually-exist-in-a-story-how-shocking, Asle rushed out the door and made her way to school. 

The second she arrived, Falo waved her over. 

It tells us very briefly that she made her way towards school, but you know what? It's probably better than watching her fight off chipmunk-man. 

And that, my friends, is the chapter on showing instead of telling! I hope it was helpful, especially through the use of Disney songs. It was a very spontaneous decision, if I'm honest, but I figured it was time we stepped away from food (though, some would argue that Aladdin is a snack?).  

Next chapter is just going to be a rant on love triangles. I don't know why so many people have requested this. It should be fun, though, considering that 14 of the books I read last year featured love triangles. And no, this isn't even including Wattpad books. Now, if I did include those... 

Yeah, let's not got there. 

Anyways, stay tuned, but also let me know here what you think about love triangles! I want to hear all the perspectives! What are love triangles you've seen done well, and love triangles that have made you want to rip your hair out? (See how I said 'rip your hair out' instead of 'made you frustrated'? Showing, not telling!)