My Eyes.....Tell A Story

Demons

These demons
They hold me back
Hiding within my emotions
It's a stain in my life
That I try real hard to get out
It's like the dark side of me
I hide it deep in my subconscious
But creeps back into my thought process

When my baby loves me
Does everything to make me happy but
My anger
My distrust of people
That demon turns me into a different person
I keep him out my heart
I prefer we live apart
And that night when we fight I lashed out
I hit him
I threw him down to the ground
He got up crying
I couldn't BELIVE what I did
My hands were shaking
It was like that demon was right there laughing

These demons I swear
They turned a bad habit into an addiction
It started out as one drink wit a freind
Then it was 2, then 4
An the demon convinced me to get some more
I spent all my money
On that feeling,
I took from my mother, even took a $20 from my cuz
All for that bottle
All for that buzz
Then the voice in my head
"I know you want more"

I started looking around the house
Dad had these pills
I put them back but, that demon in me
It knew I wanted a thrill
So I took 3
Had me in a daze
Shit felt so good I was amazed
I was high at work
I was high on my birthday
I was high when I drove, when that demon told me those familiar words
" I know you want more"

I went to the streets looking for it
The priceless silver my moms gave me
I pawned it
The nice watch bae gave me I sold it
An when I got my pills
I crushed it
Snorted it
I knew what I was doing
But that demon in me just kept goin
The liquor, the pills, my anger
It was all eating my soul up
Till I had no heart, completely selfish
Bae came home an saw me abusing
He said fuck you im leaving
My anger demon took over an
I slapped him an pushed him
An.....he just ran out the door crying
I was in a dark space
My demons were evident
You could see it on my face

One day I was at the park
Drinking a big bottle
Taking 5 pills
I lost all my stuff I couldn't pay my bills
No more boyfriend
Mama stopped talking to me
I used all my rent money on pills an booze
Now Its on a cold bench where I snooze
I found $5 on the ground
An took a chance wit the lotto
Somehow won $600
God was tryna save me, give me a tommorow
But that temptation was strong
An that lil bit of money didn't last long
I was buyin these pills from a dude
When out of nowhere these cops pinned me down
I was cuffed an taken to jail
A cold cell
I broke down an cried all night
This is what being at the bottom looks like

These demons
They hold me back
Hiding within my emotions
It's a stain in my life
That I try real hard to get out
It's like the dark side of me
I hide it deep in my subconscious
But creeps back into my thought process

And I need help.....