When hate turns into love (Newt x Reader)

Chapter 8: Guilty

(y/n)'s POV

The next few days, you cared for Newt 24/7. Most of the time he has been sleeping and you changed his bandage which was wrapped around his leg or his cold compress which laid on his forehead. You always made sure that Newt had everything he needs: food, something to drink and warm and fresh blankets. At nightfall you were so tired that you slept in the med-jacks tent on a chair. You didn't care at all how many days passed by, how often you slept on this terribly uncomfortable chair. You only focused on Newt and his well-being.

The days when Newt finally recover his consciousness weren't as easy as you imagined. On the one hand he didn't say a word, on the other hand he complained about everything.

"Bloody hell, (y/n)", he said and sat up straight. You rolled your eyes and turned towards him. "What?" You were less of energy, you hadn't enough power to speak up, to tell him that he shouldn't be as annoying as a child. You were tired. The last few days were pretty exhausting. You took care of Newt and also tried to show Jack how to be a part of the Med-Jacks.

"Shouldn't it be time that I can stand up? Walk? Work? To run again? To get out of this bloody hell?"

You rubbed your head, closed your eyes and sighed silently. You couldn't hear those questions anymore they have always been the same. Over and over again. Since that day he woke up. You missed the silent, sleepy Newt who looked so cute while recover. 

Wait what? Cute? Oh, come on, (y/n).

"Hello? (y/n)"

His voice interrupted your thoughts. "Yes. Sure. Stand up. You're all recovered", you said. "For real?", he asked with a skeptical frown in his face. "Yes, for real."

Suddenly he thrown the blankets away, sat up on the edge of the bed. "You have to be carefull, Newt. Should I help you?", you worried.

"Help? Hell no. I'm good", he said and put his feet on the floor.

"Well, at least", You handled him a branch. "Take this, you'll need it. It will take some time until your leg is fully recovered. So please be carefull." He nodded, took the branch and slowly stood up. His face grimaced with a slight of pain when he tried to take the first steps. "You okay?"

But he didn't answer and slowly left the tent. After that you sighed again, rubbed your tired eyes and laid down in his bed. You covered yourself in the blankets he just thrown away a few seconds ago. As soon as you closed your eyes, you fell asleep.

Newts POV

When I left the tent, the warm sun hit my face with a light. I just had to smile. I didn't want to know how many days I spent in this terrible brown tent. Slowly, I took one step after another. My leg hurt terribly but I couldn't be there anymore. I had to move, to go forward.

"Oh! There's our tragic hero", Minho shouted. He sat on a table with Gally and Alby.

"Tragic hero?", I asked and sat down.

"Well of course", Gally said and took a sip of his drink. "Two weeks of recover, congrats."

"Two weeks?", I was shocked.

"Yes. Two weeks, shank. Pour (y/n), she has been there for you. All the time. 24/7. She didn't even get to sleep in her own bed", Alby said.

I was wide-eyed and suddenly I felt guilty. Terribly guilty.

"Did you even say thank you?", Minho asked and looked at me seriously.

Well, no. I didn't. Instead of saying thank you, I annoyed her with questions like a child and refused her help in a very unkind way. I felt bad. I never felt so bad before. I didn't know me like that. This whole maze thing was just too much for me, but I totally forgot that the others are stucked in the same situation. (y/n) had to be here for over three months for now, as the only girl, with a huge responsibility as a med-jack. I looked at the floor and my heart suddenly felt as heavy as a big rock.

"Goddamn it", Gally looked at me with a slight contempt look in his eyes. "To be honest, if I were a med-jack I wouldn't have cared for you that much. I mean you only fell from a cliff. It's not like you have a dangerous virus or a fever or something like that." Alby softly punched him in the side. "I'm sorry but it's the truth."

I stood up and took my branch. I had to go and think about all of this. After a while I sat down under a huge tree with a beautiful treetop. The afternoon sun shone in my face and I closed my eyes. "You only fell from a cliff", Gallys words were stuck in my head. If the others knew the real reason behind it. Why I fell from that cliff. How it happened. That I was the one who jumped from that cliff. I covered my head between my legs. I felt so terrible and I couldn't stand the situation anymore. I knew how much they need new gladers and I knew that I was not the only one. What I did was selfish. It wasn't the right way to handle the situation...

When I woke up, it was night. The dark blue sky was all over the glade. I saw a campfire only a few feets away, all the other gladers sat together, talking and discussing but I couldn't see (y/n). Suddenly I was worried. I stood up, took my new best friend the branch and walked to the med-jack tent.

There she was. Lying in my bed for the last two weeks. I sat down at the edge of the bed and looked at her face. She breathed slowly, her (y/h/c) hair was messed up and her cheeks were softly red. Her mouth was opened and formed a light smile. For the first time I looked at her differently. I saw her beauty. Her soft skin, her small hands and her cute little nose. I saw a scar right under her eyebrow and some freckles around her nose. She was beautiful. No scar, no freckles, no pimples or dark circles under her eye could change her beauty. She was unique.

I laid the branch on the floor and kept staring at her. I felt terrible. I felt like the greatest jackass on this earth. I felt guilty. I didn't want her to be that exhausted. I didn't want to make her look like this. I didn't want her to sacrifice her time just to recover me. After all she did for me, I wasn't even able to say sorry or at least thank you. From the first time I was at the glade, she just tried to be nice and kind to me because she knew my situation. And I was a douchebag. I totally understood when she hated me.

I took her hand, her small and soft hand and softly rubbed some circles with my thumb. Suddenly she turned around and my heartbeat went faster. She grabbed my hand strongly and whispered something. 

Over and over again. It was my name.

It was Newt. 

__________________________

Hello guys! 

yes. I am still alive, a few years older but alive. :D I hope you're all doing well and that you like the new chapter. To be honest, I haven't write anything in English since 2018, so it can be that my English isn't as good as a few years ago. But I hope that you still like it! 

As you see, (y/n) and Newt become a little closer. Finally, our greenie realized that all of the gladers are stuck in the same situation. *congrates* 

So! I hope that it won't take me another 4 years to update my story. I think it's time to finish this chapter of my life. :)

So, see you the next chapter!

snowfairy <3