Procrastinators on Stage (Chris Kendall/crabstickz fanfic) *unedited*

Part 35- I Don't Like Having Doubts

In between finding out about all of this gossip today, I'd carried out the safety checks on the stage, had had an in depth meeting with the head of special effects and Max's assistant about the lighting cues, and had used the tool kit to tighten some of the bolts and washers that were holding the on-stage staircase aloft to improve its safety. I did checks on the artwork for the screens which alternated to the back of the stage and made changes to the design when Max asked me to, put fresh pieces of tape on the stage to tell the actors and dancers where they had to stand, cleaned the set for the rehearsals and dancers to practice on later on, and helped the costume designers with some of their work too when I was needed. I even forced myself to help organise things for the Elphaba and Glinda call backs tomorrow, even if it did pain me to do so.

All of the work I'd done today had flown by and I'd barely been aware of the time passing. I hadn't even stopped for my lunch hour and had instead eaten a chicken wrap whilst listening to Max talk to the head of special effects. It had certainly been a long day. To be quite honest I was a little bit proud of myself and my day's productivity.

"Jamie? Hey!" a voice called to me.

I blinked rapidly and looked away from where I'd been gazing out at the endless black pit of the audience to where Liss was waving her hands at me from the now empty stage. I must have gotten lost in my day dream.

"Yeah?" I yelled back to her as I screwed the lid of my water bottle back on and set it down next to my bag on the stage side.

"We're going to run through as many songs as we can before you have to go," she informed me as I walked onto the stage and into the stunning stage lights once more where any light in the audience was sucked away into a black hole, leaving me blind to the seating. "And I've asked Andrew to play the music for you too, which he was happy to do since you helped him out today with the cues."

Oh, so Andrew's the head of special effects? Why does no one ever tell me their names or introduce me to people? Apparently I'm just expected to know everyone's names off by heart by now, even if I've never met a person before. Fantastic.

Liss and I did some basic vocal warm ups together before she decided that my voice was limbered up enough and I was ready to sing for her to see if I'd progressed since yesterday night. "I trust you can tell which song's which from the introductory chords?" Liss continued as she started to climb off stage once more to hide in the audience. "We'll be going chronologically through the Elphaba songs with any other voices being played in the track music. After that, I'll choose some of the songs to go through with you and work on them a little more. Alright?"

"Yeah, um, I think I'll be able to..." I mumbled unsurely. I had quite a lot of faith in myself that I'd get the songs right the first time around, judging by how I'd listened to Idina Menzal sing Elphaba's songs on numerous occasions before, and got shivers nearly every time I heard those instruments strike. "I'm sorry if I get any wrong..."

"I have faith in you, don't worry about it, Jamie," Liss' voice echoed from the darkness. "The dark is just a way of you imagining a full audience so that I can see how you'd do if you were actually on stage. Remember that."

"Sure..."

Liss mumbled something which sounded like a form of encouragement before her voice was lost in the tuneful and atmospheric instrumental introduction to 'The Wizard and I', which appeared to bloom from the audience itself. The effect of the music being blasted at me like a chilling gust of wind almost bowled me over and yet I tried to remain standing and just practice my singing. I felt like I was singing alone to myself as I cleaned the stage all over again but now the music, which I'd previously been playing in my head, was being bellowed out of those speakers just for me. It felt like a step forward for me, which made me feel almost proud, in an odd way.