The Squid

Adventure Time - PART TWO

Taylor could ask the NSW education system a thousand questions. What was the use of such a strict standardized test when it was proven to be so ineffective? Why was there such a lack of focus on things that mattered? Why was school dominated by uncultured swine? Why was the NSW Education System the only entity immune to her irresistibility?!

Her mother was going to be stealing and rigging election ballots today, and Taylor had been so close to lending her assistance! It really wasn't fair that she had to waste her talents at school. Her mother was the only education system she needed.

Every daughter was attracted to their mother like she was, weren't they? She was completely reliant - a slave - to her mother. She was infatuated with her mother. She would gladly commit crimes against humanity that would make even Cheryl cry for her mother.

But of course, Taylor couldn't say any of that out loud otherwise everyone would say that she was unhealthily obsessed. Taylor wasn't obsessed in the slightest, because this was the way that all daughters looked up to their mothers.

It was.

It really, really, really was.

Anyway, it wasn't as if she had any other parental figures to admire.

At this moment in time, the Squad was walking/slithering over to period one maths on a Monday. To rectify this injustice, they were walking/slithering the scenic route to maths - past the L Block, a joyride on Frank's lawn mower, and a game of ping pong in the ping pong room.

They were attracting a lot of attention turning the corner into the L block corridor. Between Fatema's religion and Grace's species, the halls tended to flood away from them like watered blood a drain. Any and all of Taylor's optimistic suitors were warded away whenever she associated with them.

God, the sheer amount of suitors that clung to her skirts like a bacteria was borderline antagonistic. Taylor didn't know why she was so popular with the male species, but sometimes she simply despised her beautiful sweep of hazelnut hair and despaired over her perfect teeth (straighter than Cheryl, whiter than Mr K-). Boys fell into line due to her flawless skin and her figure.

Sometimes she couldn't help but envy herself, actually. How many other girls could boast an IQ of 230? More to the point, how many girls could boast an IQ of 230 and an attendance rate of 50%? Imagine if Taylor actually put her brain to something worthwhile...

Just imagine. Now that she thought about it, the true reason Taylor distanced herself from school must have been because of selflessness. She was incredibly selfless (and incredibly humble) to keep her name away from the merit award monopolies and ROSA ceremonies. Because she would never claim the position of Year 12 Dux of Wethermere High, someone else would be able to! Wasn't she so kind?

Ah, well, she could give them her autograph if they really wanted it.

Fatema's voice, above and to the right, sliced through her reverie like a hot knife through Donald Trump. The Shoedoist was perched atop Grace's mantle in some form of kraken-modified piggyback (krakenback? piggymantle?). For her part, Grace looked vaguely irritated at Fatema's constant need for contact, love, and acknowledgement. "My parents won't accept my religion," Fatema was whining. She tugged the shoe further down onto her bald scalp, somewhat defensively. Sophia Bell broke into a sprint in the opposite direction.

"They need regular bomb screenings for people like you," Taylor whined, purposely heedless of Fatema's betrayed expression. "You terrify everyone we pass even more than Grace already does!" A quick glance around the empty corridor confirmed her worst fear. "And look," she complained with great accusation, "now I have no suitors!"