Ateez One Shots [Boyxboy]

Minhwa

Mingi knew he was whipped whipped for Seonghwa. He didn't try to hide it, he made it perfectly clear to the older.

The taller would be always flirting with Seonghwa, complimenting everything he did. Taking care of him when he was tired by making him tea and food.

But the flirting and everything wasn't one sided.

Seonghwa knew he was head over heels for the younger, but he thought the other was only joking when he said he liked him. And that the kind gestures he had with him were only because he was his hyung. All of the other members were as attentive as Mingi between everyone, so he didn't take it as anything special.

Mingi's eyes always followed Seonghwa's every movement, and lately, he started to notice some changes in his behavior.

The older would go straight to his bedroom after practice, he would eat there too, and would only talk to anyone if it was extremely necessary.

The red haired tried to talk about this with the rest but they just said that maybe Seonghwa was just tired because of the comeback they just had. But Mingi knew the oldee better than that.

One night, after everyone was already asleep, Mingi made his way towards Seonghwa's room. He really wanted to talk to him in private, and try and help him with whatever he was going through.

Seonghwa hadn't been himself lately. He didn't know when it started, but one day, after they came back from performing, Seonghwa just felt like he couldn't breathe. Some weird feeling was making it's way all over his body, making him shake with fear, unknown to what.

His head was spinning, his mouth dry and the constant feeling of wanting to cry ever present in his chest.

It happened many times after that, he searched the symptoms on Google, and realized he had been experiencing panic attacks. But even after knowing what he had, he didn't get any better. Seonghwa knew it would be better if he reached out for help, maybe one of the members or his family. But he was afraid no one would take it seriously or that no one would understand.

Mental health problems are not something that's actually acknowledged in the society he lives in. So it wasn't easy for someone to get through it.

Sometimes he would wake up feeling better, like the numbness he felt the night before was only a dream. That the constricting pain was an illusion of his mind.

But sometimes it felt like he was suffocating. He did a good job at hiding his feelings, none of the other members had realized something was going on with him, so he felt relieved that he didn't have to explain whatever he was feeling.

Everyday after practice he would go straight to his bedroom and he would lock himself there until dinner, trying to talk with anyone as little as possible.

Nights were the worst. All his fears and sadness would come and haunt him at the late hours of the night, forcing the boy to cry himself to sleep, leaving traces of the heavy tears his heart couldn't handle all over his cheeks and pillows.

Seonghwa desperately needed for someone to notice, he didn't want to be the one looking for comfort. He had mixed feelings about everything, his mind was a mess.

On one of his many sleepless nights, he felt all his emotions coming at him a hundred times worse. Seonghwa couldn't find in his mind what had triggered the attacks and he was getting weaker and weaker as the days passed.

He heard a door opening and he held his sobs as the steps resonated in the hallway, hoping that whoever it was hadn't heard him crying.

But the luck wasn't on his side.