His Ignored Wife

35: Confessions and Choices (part 1)

Soon, as I reached the stage, there was an invisible shift of awkwardness lingering in the air. Apparently, Demir hadn't even bothered to get up from the couch placed on the stage and grab my hand, in order to take me to the couch. It was a tradition in so many families-a sweet and symbolic gesture.

I tried not to let that insult sour my heart. Shy and nervous, I sat beside him and folded my hands. He didn't spare me a glance, didn't even look, as he coldly stared at the crowd, not even smiling as my parents came to gift him some money. Many guests came to congratulate us on the stage. My cousins teased me. I blushed shyly but still felt so belittled by the fact that I was the only one showing these emotions. It was apparent that Demir wasn't interested...that he had only bothered to show up because of Madam Geena.

Purposely, he was making sure to show his disdain by tilting slightly away from me, the face staring out at strangers, preferring them over his own bride. We were served Bar.B.Q on the stage. My appetite was lost because of all the overwhelming feelings. Soon, after the function, he simply dropped me at the gates of his mansion and left.

I remember standing near the mansion gate, dressed up as a bride...feeling so alone and miserable. There were people outside, bystanders, giving me weird looks, my in-laws not even bothering to welcome me inside their place. I was on a crossroad with no place to go, but even at that moment, all I wanted was to change my husband's mind about me and make him adore me.

I was so pathetic.

"We will see," I finally spoke, returning back to the present...meeting Asmara's gaze. There was hidden pain that went unseen by her, agony lacing my words. Just feeling this...reminding me of these emotions reinforced my resolve of moving on. How was one to believe the words of someone who had once been so terrible?

Change...how was one to believe give another chance, when there had already been so many chances given? Demir had the power...he had my heart, but he ruined it. He tortured me, and now that I was finally moving on and healing, he was suddenly manipulating my heart by acting so different and begging for a chance.

I had once searched for hidden promises in his coldness. I had seen nonexistent signs...felt them ruin them. How could I start chasing those signs again? Caring for Demir had been my ultimate doom. How could I forget that?

Soon, as the sizzling scent of barbecue floated in the air, my gaze caught the sight of Demir walking towards my direction. His hair was flowing because of the wind, a confident smile coating his face as his gaze met mine, and he gave me a full grin.

"Is it your husband?" Asmara spoke, eyeing my distracted look.

"Yes," I turned my gaze back towards her, grabbing a tomato from the salad.

"Ask him when we will be served?" she smiled. She didn't mind that I had been distracted...didn't say anything about that.

"Sure," I sarcastically spoke, "and at my order, he will immediately have his waiters serve his food." I was taunting.

"He will." Her voice turned serious and knowing. This wasn't accusatory, more like she had figured out something I hadn't. I turned speechless.

However, instead of walking towards me, Demir headed towards his family's table first.

"He isn't coming here," I spoke. Was I disappointed, hurt...relieved? I didn't know.

Asmara took another sip from her pineapple juice.

"Well, maybe, he is preparing himself for the future," she shrugged. It felt she was probing me, purposely reminding me of my future. There seemed like a hidden motive behind her words. What was she trying to do? Yet, I decided not to take the bait.