~South Park Style Oneshots~

Can You Believe This Shit?

During the summer between sixth and seventh grade, the Marsh family went out on their yearly camping trip, but this time it was a lot better, as Kyle had agreed to tag along after Stan's excited askance. Stan had never been more pumped in his life. The two of them looked at weird frogs and played in cold rivers until their sides hurt from laughter. The best part, though, was that they got to share a tent. Stan was especially grateful, since he didn't have to share one with Shelley this time around. The bitch snored like a devil.

So every night for a week Stan and Kyle chilled in the redhead's tent, and for some reason even though they were miles away from their street, Stan never felt more at home. The last night of the trip was the most memorable to him, as Kyle was snuggled into him, his arm thrown across Stan's chest, half asleep. Stan doubted his friend knew what he was doing, but even so, Stan wrapped himself around Kyle, feeling something explode in his chest as he drifted off to sleep.

Seventh grade was the worst. Stan could only describe it as over-emotional and angsty, which he supposed was only natural for a tween. Something about the summer's camping trip lingered with him, and he didn't understand what, or why. One thing was for certain however, and it was that he hated literally everyone. Except Kyle, of course. People were either too loud or too sensitive, and it pissed him off. The people that pissed him off the most were the ones who affiliated with Kyle. Stan knew it wasn't good, and that Kyle's allowed to become friends with whoever he wants, but when Kyle had to work with Annie on some science project, Stan wanted to bash her face in every time he felt a tug in his chest whenever the pair talked. Fortunately, Kenny and Cartman noticed Stan's brooding behavior before it got too out of hand. "Bruh, the fuck is goin' on with you?" Cartman had said, only earning a questioning look from Stan. Kenny chuckled, "Dude, you look like you wanna murder everyone who comes within five feet of Kyle. It's like you're in love with him or something." Stan wore a surprised expression then, and felt himself flush. He socked Kenny in the stomach and walked away without a word, hearing Cartman laugh hysterically behind him. That was the dumbest reason he'd ever heard. Yes, they were best friends, and Stan cares about Kyle very much, but he wasn't... in love with him.

By eighth grade Stan decided to snap out of it. Maybe his dad was right, being too attached to Kyle made people think he was gay. So Stan began hanging out with the rest of the guys more often, and purposely chose against going to Kyle's everyday after school. He played GTA with Clyde and watched Netflix with Craig and Token. However, even then, Stan's thoughts always drifted back to Kyle. He thought about how much more fun it would be if his best friend was there, and imagined him complaining about there not being enough butter on the popcorn or that Clyde's controllers were to gross to hold. With that, Stan took up football. It was perfect. It required him to think and act quickly, which left no time for him to obsess over Kyle.

It was going greatly, and Stan ended up genuinely enjoying the sport. At this rate, Stan would be known for being Stan, instead of being associated with Kyle all the time. Something about that had hurt, though.

Stan should've known he couldn't keep it up for long. The longing for Kyle slowly crept back into his mind. He pictured Kyle on the empty bleachers during his practice, and wanted to see him run down the steps towards him when he scored a touchdown. At night, after tiring school hours, Stan slept in his bed, feeling that it would be a hundred times more comfy if Kyle was next to him.

It all came together the summer between eighth and ninth grade. Stan clutched at his blankets one cool night after jolting awake from a not so pg dream... that included Kyle.

Fuck.

Ok, so maybe Stan was in love with Kyle. He freaked out about it upon realizing, and the fact that they were starting high school didn't ease his panic at all. All year, he didn't dare tell anyone about his feelings, even to Kenny and Cartman. (The fatass would've probably told Kyle anyway.) So Stan pined in secret, he caught himself staring at Kyle from across the room, or felt a jolt at his nerves every time they brushed passed each other. Most of the time, though, Stan found himself smiling like an idiot. Every time Kyle got excited about acing a test, or got hyped up when winning an argument, Stan felt like he could soar. He felt amazing whenever Kyle felt amazing, and at the same time, was sad whenever Kyle was sad. Sometimes, Kyle would feel like shit after pulling countless all-nighters, or Shiela would annoy the crap out of him, and Stan would feel his heart drop. All he wanted to do was take Kyle and protect him forever. Stan was practically in love, and as it made him extremely happy, it also made him feel extremely hopeless. Him and Kyle were super best friends, they could tell each other anything, but how could Stan tell him something like this? The outcome was bound to be chaos, and Stan would lose his main purpose in his life if Kyle stopped being his friend.