~South Park Style Oneshots~

It's a Trap!

It was another dragging day in South Park High. Teachers wasting their voices screaming, janitors tiredly picking up trash in the halls, and students mindlessly going to classes. A junior, Stan Marsh, was one of these students, just going through the motions. Surprisingly, nothing interesting at all was happening to South Park. Usually, something supernatural, or some new drama would come up and shake the town. But lately things have been boring, with days blurring into each other as one big blob. Stan didn't even know what day it was anymore. He believed things were going to be like this for a while... until she showed up.

Suddenly, one day, a new girl showed up in town. According to all the attendees of the highschool, she was the cutest girl in town. She had red, curly hair up to her shoulders, and big, sparkling green eyes that looked like emeralds. She was tall and skinny, and often wore short skirts and crop tops. She basically looked like a total thot, but hey that's pretty hot. Boys started to want a piece of her, and girls started to give her hateful glares. She especially caught Stan's eye, who always drooled when he spotted her.

It was currently lunch, and Stan was sitting with his friends Kenny and David. Cartman was there too. "Dude, I'm gonna tap that ass," Kenny started, sitting down and seeing the new girl walk into the cafeteria. She's been attending South Park High for almost a week now. Cartman turned to where Kenny was looking. "Not if I get to her first." He smirked devilishly, irking Stan. Many guys have already tried making advances towards her, but she swiftly denied them. The four boys saw her walking towards the food bar, not aware that they were staring. They began to list all the people who had their hearts broken by this new girl. Clyde, Craig, Jimmy, etc. Stan naturally expected Kenny to be one of the first to swoon her, but his reasoning was that he didn't wanna screw up like the previous contestants.

After idolizing this new attraction, David stated the obvious. "Bros... we don't even know her name..." Suddenly, a smooth yet slightly high pitched voice spoke up, with a slight giggle in her voice. "I'm Kyley, do you boys mind if I sit here?"

The four friends jumped in their seats, startled. They turned to face the new girl who was standing next to Stan. They were just staring at her, or Kyley which apparently was her name, while she stood there looking concerned at them. She broke the few seconds of silence. "Uhh... are you guys ok?" Simultaneously, the four cleared their throats and sat up straighter, and plastered smiles on their faces. "Yeah we're totally fine, and please go ahead and sit wherever you feel comfortable," David responded, taking a polite approach. Kyley smiled. "Why thank you." And took a seat next to Stan. Oh it was on between the four friends. Sure, David got points for being polite, but Stan won that first interaction by Kyley sitting next to him.

Cartman tried taking a stab at the competition, doing it the only way he knows how. "So ho... how bout we ditch these nerds and you can suck my dick like the lil bitch you are," he "flirted" with a wink. However, that didn't work. Kyley was fuming, now standing up. "Wanna say that again, fat ass?" Cartman just smirked. "Yeah... but I want you to be my sex slave even more." With that, Kyley stood up on the table, and landed a swift kick to Cartman's face. Her short skirt lifted up at the action — Stan and Cartman earning a panty shot. However Cartman was too busy crying for his mom to appreciate what he saw. He ran out of the cafeteria, with Stan a blushing mess. "Daaaaamn girl you feisty..." Kenny remarked, also taking a straightforward approach, but not being a complete asshole. Kyley turned around to face him and smiled, and Kenny swore he would've came right then and there.

After things settled down, the now three boys introduced themselves to Kyley, with Stan being last. "So..." Kyley said, smiling and looking at Stan. "Who might you be?" She moved closer to him, which caused Stan to get all red and not think of the simple response. Kenny ended up answering for him. "That right there is Stan. Don't worry about him, he just gets nervous around pretty girls," he said with a smirk. Stan sent him a death glare, while Kyley lightly laughed. "You guys are so cute..."