The Sloan's Daughter

i'm keeping my baby?

Clara grabbed her bag and rushed out the door. She was ten minutes late, and she was walking. Nick, who normally drove her, had to go in early today for misprints on the school paper. He was the Sr. Editor, and took a lot of pride in it. He clearly loved doing it. After all, he was planning on going into journalism.

She bumped into him on her way to her first period. "Hey, Clare. Everything okay?" He asked. She seemed a little breathless and her entire demeanor was off.

"I'm fine. Can we get something to eat after school?" She asked. She needed to tell him about the baby sooner rather than later. Of course he agreed. He quickly kissed her before they went their separate ways.

She made it through her first two classes before rushing to the bathroom. She despised the morning sickness more than anything. She could take the headaches, cold-like symptoms, but not the constant need to empty her stomach (at school, especially). She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before standing up. She swished water in her mouth for a few seconds, then washed her hands. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as she scampered to her locker. She took her lunch out of her backpack, and as she closed the door, Ellis appeared next to her.

"Do you want to do something after school?" She asked, water bottle and ham sandwich in hand. Clara watched as she took a huge, monstrous sized bite.

They hadn't spent time outside of school in a while, so it hurt a little when Clara said, "I can't, sorry. I have plans." Spending time with Ellis sounded a lot more appealing, though. "Maybe on the weekend?" She suggested.

"Yeah," She was clearly trying to hide her disappointment, however it was evident "Maybe." She nodded. She turned, sighed, and walked away.

She trudged through the rest of the day. As the hours passed by, she grew more, and more anxious. She had to tell an 18 year old he was going to be a father. It was gut wrenching.

+ + +

Clara was quiet during the car ride. She occasionally laughed under her breath at his jokes, however not much else was said. Nick could tell she was off, and it wasn't because it was an expert on Clara. Anyone who spent more than 5 minutes with the girl could tell.

Nick pulled their cheeseburgers out of the brown bag after parking in the vacant parking lot. Hardly anyone went to this small diner anymore, especially teenagers after school. Clara and Nick had grown quite a liking to it. They never put too many pickles, and their patties weren't thin and dry.

"I need to talk to you." She started, looking at him.

"Okay..." He replied, wary. He was expecting this, yet he wasn't any less nervous.

"B-before I tell you, I know it's not what we planned, by a long shot... but I think it could be okay. We're so young, I know. And we have plans. We planned to share a dorm in Yale, but-"

"Clara, just tell me."

"I'm..."- Deep breath in -"I'm pregnant."

Silence, silence, and more silence.

For minutes, neither one of them spoke. The couple were silent. Clara, anticipating his words, and Nick trying to form some. "Are you serious?"

"Why would I joke about this?" Her hormones were running wild, so she couldn't help but snap. "I found out on my birthday. I don't know how far along I am yet."

"How do you not?"

"Well, it's not like some fucking fairy comes down and tells you once that second line pops up." She huffed. The two were scared, and confused. Things were bound to get messy.

"Okay, okay. I just meant- I thought you'd see a doctor already." He sighed.

"No. That requires talking to parents, and quite frankly, I'd rather die right now. I can't face them and tell them I'm a major fucking disappointment." Swearing became prominent in her speech when she was stressed, nervous, or scared. Right now, she was all of the above.

"So, you're not keeping it?"

"What?! No. I didn't say that."

"So, you are?"

"I don't know!" She snapped, annoyed. Her temper was wearing thin. "I just..." She exhaled "It's a really hard decision. I know, if we kept it, we would make it work. But do I really want to have a baby right now? I never imagined myself doing that for, like, years."

"I know." He frowned. As hard as he tried, this wasn't a situation he could swoop in and fix. "It's a huge commitment, and I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet."

She nodded. "We would make a really cute baby, though." She said, somewhat quietly.

"We would." He agreed. Their conversation never escalated more than that, even during the ride home. They had a lot to decide, and it had to be soon. They had 3 options. Termination, adoption, and of course, keeping the baby. The first option had a timer on it, and she couldn't imagine giving up her baby. Both would be gut wrenching, however. The more they thought about it, the more lost they felt. "Let's talk more tomorrow, okay?" Nick said as Clara got out of the car. She nodded. She kept imagining her baby, and it's tiny features, that resembled her own. Maybe the decision was easier than she thought.