Jay x reader ~ Memey if that's okay with you. ~ Danplan

1.

I wake up to the sound of an alarm.
"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." I mumble, trying to turn it off. Finally it turns off. Thank frick.
I check my phone. One missed call from Stephen. Stephen is my brother. My twin.
We are best friends! We have been Since I was like -9 months old.

I get up, and get ready. I take a shower, do my hair, get dressed, brush my teeth,
And then call Stephen back.

"Hello?" I hear a muffled voice say.
"Hey. What's up?" I ask, making my breakfast.
"Um. Nothing. I'm just talking to Jay."
"Who's Jay?" I ask. "A good friend of mine. He kinda reminds me of you hah." He laughs.
"How so?" I ask. "Your both pretty smart. Like it's stupid how similar you are." He says.
"Ah. Cool." I say. "So what are you gonna do today?" He asks. "I dunno. I might go outside or something." I grumble, still feeling pretty tired from staying up all night watching stranger things. "Oh. Cool. Well if your free you can come over later." He says.

Later I hang up. We mostly talked about lie and all that shit. I eat my breakfast and walk out the door. Yeetums yeetus I'm out!

I walk around in the snow.
The fuck? The Fuck!? The fuck is in the air?
The fuck? There's white shit everywhere.
Just kidding I know what snow is.
I'm not that stupid. Hah. Anyway.

It's freezing outside. I'm used to the cold though. Where my grandma grew up it snowed a lot. She would take me there.

I live in a dorm. I am going to school still, and I guess that sucks. I am afraid of student loans. They scare me. Hah... I'm dying inside.

Hmph. I wonder how Gavin is doing.
I know he makes videos with Stephen. Yeah. My brother does YouTube... I support him though. Gavin is slightly younger than me and Stephen. Just a few years. He's also my brother.

I'm a mess. I have anxiety and probably depression. I'm just diagnosing myself though.
I'm pretty lonely. Besides my family I don't really have friends. I'm kinda awkward anyways, so maybe it's best if I seclude myself from others I'm not related to.

I have been in relationships, but I cut them all off. I felt like I was hurting them. Like they didn't wanna be with me anyways.

I like being alone. But I don't want to be anymore. It gets kinda boring.

I think I may be a psychopath, I just don't show it. I have thoughts of killing my professors, or piers, and I don't even hate them. Sometimes I feel like I want to stab someone or something. But I don't.

There's nobody out there like me.
I know that for a fact. Maybe that's why I can't interact with anybody else.

I should definitely be more social,
So I don't live in loneliness all my life.
Therefore I should go see Stephen.

I drive to his apartment. I ring the doorbell 50 times before he opens it.
"Shut the fuck up." He says. I laugh.
He's not being mean. That's just iconic Stephen. I go in. His place is a lot more clean and organized than mine.

"Hey, have you talked to Gavin recently?" I ask. I try to act happy in front of him. I love him too much for him to be sad over me of all things. "Yep! Last night." He smiled. "How is he doing?" I ask. "Pretty good." He says.
"Hey, do I seem like a train wreck?" I ask.
"Um. No... why do you ask?" He inquires.
"Nothing. Nothing." I mumble.

I go back to my dorm hours later.
Ugh I hate life. I pass out on my bed.

The next morning I wake up.
Holy balls I don't wanna go to class today.
But I do anyway. I take a shower, brush my teeth, and hair, and leave.

I wear this. It's kind of grungy. But I like that type of style. It's not too dark, but is dark enough to where I don't look like a Barbie.

I get to class. In a year I will be out of here.
No more waking up at 4:00 and going to sleep at 12:00, no more sitting at a desk for 9 hours. It will be amazing.

I read the board. Ah shit. We have a group project! Fuck life Im out.

And it's Math of all fucking things.
Math is my sleep paralysis demon.
Math is all of my suicidal thoughts.
MATH. FUCKING MATH IS-
"Y/n Ng, and... Jay Ko." He partners me up with someone named Jay. Huh. Okay.

I don't actually know anyone named Jay.
Shit who is this guy? I look around the room.
A guy with messy hair waves to me. Oh okay.
I wave back and smile. I walk to his desk.
"Hello." I smile. "Hey." He says.
"Fucking group projects." He mumbles.
"Hah. I know." I mumble back. He smiles and we get to work.

I notice his shirt says "liquid nitrogen" on it.
Heh. "So what's with your shirt?" I ask, getting off topic. "I have no idea. I'm really just a nerd." He says. I smile. I like this guy already.

"Me too." I whisper. I give him my number, incase he needs to text me about something for the project.

I get to my dorm. I pass out on my couch. "Holy fuck I hate Monday." I say to myself.
I should clean... I mean, hey if Stephens place is clean mine should be too.

I put on some Billie Eillish and clean.
My anxiety goes away when I hear music.
I often put music on loop and put in my headphones when I sleep, because for some reason I have bad anxiety at night.

After a while, my house is actually nice.
It looks so much better. I feel more calm in a clean, open space. I feel tired.

I put in my headphones, and I flop on my bed.