22: Let His Guard Down

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"It's fine." He said again, only that time more firmly.

It was obvious that Caden had quite a few more words that he wanted to get out of his system, but he reluctantly shoved them to the side as he went to stand next to Brian. As though if he were to put more space between them, the balance of the universe would shift and everything would only get worse. At least they were finally back to talking to each other, because it was the weirdest week ever watching them avoiding one another.

"To go with what happened to Brian, those psychos decided that it would be fun to target Sawyer too." Sam spoke up next, waving a hand towards me as he frowned deeply. "They took pictures of him sleeping."

"What the fuck is their problem?" Dennis rolled his eyes, his entire persona was unusual. He was always loose in the way he carried himself, his posture slumped comfortably, lips in a perpetual smirk. In that moment, everything about him was rigid, as though he was unable to let his guard down for even a moment. It made sense why he was Sam's best friend — they were both extremely overprotective of the people they loved.

"They're drug debt-collectors, that's their problem." Caden huffed, lips twisted in frustration. "Nothing will ever be good enough for them because they can just keep messing with us and they know it."

"Why bother going out of their way to target Brian and Sawyer, though?" Dennis shook his head to himself, trying to make sense of everything.

"Because it's been almost two weeks since we've dealt with them." Sam shrugged, eyes focused on his shoe as he seemed to lose himself in his thoughts. "They were probably off dealing with some other sorry sucker during that time and have since decided to redirect their attention back to us."

"Okay, sure, let's say there is some semblance of logic in that. Why go all out and beat the shit out of a teenager followed by stalking yet another teenager in the middle of the night? How does that help them out at all?" Dennis exasperatedly asked, looking at all of us as though to find the answer. None of us had one, though.

"I don't fucking know." Sam finally lifted his chin, letting his leg fall to the ground. "Maybe they just wanted to scare the shit out of us so that we never feel safe anywhere again. That would explain why they chose to attack Brian on his way to Cade's or Sawyer in his own home. They want us to be terrified because that's their fucking job."

"This whole thing is ridiculous. Like as if we aren't scared enough on our own." Caden threw up his hands in defeat, brow knit together. "I mean, we're all just a bunch of kids."

"I know, I don't get what game they're playing either."

"I mean, fuck, why can't you just give them all of the money now? Why don't we just try going to the police? What if it works?"

"Cade, I can't. Not now. It's too late." Sam shook his head.

"Does it have to be? I know you ran drugs for them for a little while and all, but if you sell them out then maybe it'll be enough." Caden was pacing, and I could tell that he was at his limit for the crazy shit happening in our lives.

"And if it's not? Even if it is, we would be putting a target on our backs for the rest of our lives. No matter how many we put behind bars, there are probably more that we won't know. I only know one of their names, how can I possibly sell them out?" They were starting to argue a bit, and it was making me worried. Caden and Brian just made up, there didn't need to be a fight between Caden and Sam immediately after.

I sat down on the desk behind me. "We're screwed no matter what we do."

"There has to be a right answer. At least one where no one else gets hurt." Caden's voice was weak as he stopped pacing and looked to Brian, who didn't seem to have any words to assure him.

"You know that's inevitable." Brian told him. "No matter which path we take."

"Why does it have to be? Why can't we all just be okay?" His voice broke and I thought for sure that he was about to start crying. Caden was usually beaming so bright that it was blinding just to catch a glimpse of him. But in that moment he was entirely disheveled — hair unruly and sticking up as though he hadn't bothered to fix it like he usually did, one leg of his jeans cuffed higher than the other, eyes pleading. The entire look was completely unlike him, because Caden was the golden boy of the school.

"I'm sorry." Sam said weakly from where he sat, eyes fixated on the ground.

The apology caused everyone to fall silent, glances being exchanged. I trusted Sam to have an idea of what to do, because he just always seemed to. Even if it was a ridiculously stupid plan, it was the fact that he had one at all that left us all feeling reassured. At least, I knew it worked for me. But looking at Sam and finding such resolute defeat on his face made my stomach drop.

"It's not all your fault." I found myself saying despite the fact that I was supposed to pretend that I didn't sympathize with him at all in front of the others. I honestly couldn't be bothered to keep up the charade when Sam looked like that. "I mean, if it's any consolation, I did get involved mostly by my own accord."

His eyes found mine. He studied me pensively. "If I hadn't gotten involved, no one would be. Not even you."

"Yeah, but it was my fault for trying to be a somewhat decent human being at the worst possible time. And as much as it pains me to say this —" I was still trying at least a little bit to seem upset with him "— we're all kind of trusting you to do what you think is best. Any one of us could have gone to the police on our own, but we're choosing to listen to you instead."

At those words, Sam's brow furrowed as he let his gaze wander towards his friends. He went from Brian to Caden, before landing on Dennis. Like he was waiting for one of them to object and state how much they didn't agree. To announce that they were done giving their faith to Sam. Instead, no one said anything for a long while.

Dennis sighed. "He's right, man. If anyone can get us through this, it's you."

Brian nodded. Caden tilted his head. "I'm sorry for making you feel worse about everything. I'm just worried. They're all so..."

"Terrifying?" I offered.

"Absolutely."

Again, we turned our attention to Sam. He was the leader, after all. There was a reason it was called Sam & Co., and it wasn't because he had the easiest name out of them. It was because Sam was always the one who directed the others. He kept them together like glue. He was the first to lend a hand when it was needed, and he would gladly sacrifice his own health for the benefit of them. That was why we all needed him. None of us could handle this without someone like Sam keeping us afloat.

"You don't have to carry this burden on your own." Dennis nudged Sam with his arm, trying to muster a smirk. "We're all in this together. Even Sawyer."

"Thanks." Sam bit his lip. "All of you."

And that was enough for the moment. All of our questions still went unanswered, but the reality was that we simply couldn't answer them until it was too late. So I held onto the small hope in Sam's voice, because it was more than I could harbor within myself.

I just had to believe that it would be enough.

•O•O•

Brian and Cade have their own book titled Ace of Spades! Check it out if you'd like! (It'll return to my profile as soon as JoC is finished)

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