Beetlejuice lyrics ( + cut songs)

the whole "being dead" thing (part 1)

*beetlejuice*

hey, folks
begging your pardon
'Scuse me
sorry to barge in
now let's skip the tears and start on
the whole, y'know
being dead thing
you're doomed
enjoy the singing
the sword of Damocles is swinging
and if i hear your cell phone ringing
i'll kill you myself
the whole being dead thing
death can get a person stressed
"we should have carpe'd way more diems
now we're never gonna see 'em"
i can show you what comes next
so don't be freaked
stay in your seats
i do this bullshit, like, eight times a week
so just relax,
you'll be fine
drink your fifty dollar wine
and take a breath

*ensemble and beetlejuice*

welcome to a show about death

*beetlejuice*

you're
you're gonna be fine
on the other side
die, you're all gonna die, you're all gonna die
i'll
i'll be your guide
to the other side ...

*ensemble and beetlejuice*

oh and full disclosure
it's a show about death

*beetlejuice*

everybody gets on fine here
like Rodgers, Hart and Hammerstein here
the women's bathroom has no line here
just pee where you want
the whole being dead thing
you're just gonna love the folks here
yeah, i know you're woke but you can take a joke here
and every show,i do, like a ton of coke here
the whole
/sniff intensifies/
the whole being dead thing
"i work out, i eat clean"
Jesus pass the dramamine
time to face the brutal truth
cause we're all on a hit-list
might not live till christmas
choke to death on truiscuits
hey, thats just statistics
so take a little break here kinda like a wake here
the scenery is fake here
but there's a giant snake here
/sandy comes onstage/

*beetlejuice and ensemble*

welcome to a show about death

*beetlejuice*

you're
you're gonna be fine
thank you
on the other side
how're you doing?
/crying/
oh not so good?
hard to believe-a-dee-bop-bop
i'll
hey
i'll be your guide
to the other side
seriously, though this is a show about

*ensemble and beetlejuice*

death is taboo, but it's hardly something new
theres nothing medical professionals can do 'cept maybe just bill you

*beetlejuice*

if you die while listening to this album it's still gonna keep playing

*beetlejuice and ensemble*

theres no destiny or fate
just a terrifying wait
filled with people that you hate
and on a certain date, the universe kills you

*beetlejuice*

that's the thing with life
no one makes it out alive
toss that body in the pit
"gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?
blah, blah, bible, Jesus, magic"
when your dead, who gives a shit?
no pilates, no more yoga
"namaste", you freaking posers
from the cradle to cremation
death just needs a little conversation
i have mastered the art

*ensemble*

dies irae

*beetlejuice*

of tearing convention apart

*ensemble*

dies irae

*beetlejuice*

so how bout we ask make a start
on the whole being dead thing?

*beetlejuice and ensemble*

God i hope you're ready for a show about death

peace out 🤙
~careflower
512 words