Little Bright Lies

Ben Solo is a Pussy

Wednesday

Ben hung up the Skype call and swallowed hard. She loved him? She couldn't. Not really. No one really loved him, people.... tolerated him. No girl had ever told him they loved him before, but Rey wasn't like other girls was she? No. She was special. She was...open, she wore her heart on her sleeve like a fucking Fitbit. And she had told him she loved him and he had said nothing. Like a fucking idiot he had said absolutely nothing. He had to do something. He picked up his phone and pulled up her number. He had to speak to her, he had to let her know it was okay. That he....He jumped when his phone started to ring in his hand. He pressed the answer button.

'Poe can this wait? I have to speak to Rey.'

'This really can't wait Ben. Listen. You know I was photographing the university today for the new post application promotional material?'

'Yeah.'

'Well, I overheard the Dean talking to someone while I was eavesdropping and pretending to photograph the art outside his office. He was securing a deal to fund your research and it was a shit load of money Ben. Like, more than you could make in a year.'

'Fuck that's amazing. What's the catch?' Ben asked suspiciously.

'I knew you were more than just a pretty face Solo. The catch is this mysterious benefactor wants you to show his daughter around the university. This Saturday.'

'For fucks sake, but I'm meant to be seeing Rey!'

'I know, I know but Ben think of what you could do with that money! I'm sure Rey would understand.'

Would Rey understand? No. She really wouldn't. Not after what had just occurred. She would think he was making an excuse not to see her. Shit.

'I can't do it. Things are kinda messed up between us right now. I have to set things straight.'

'Ben! This is your livelihood! You have to think about this for a minute!'

The offer was tempting. There were so many things Ben wanted to do. So many fields he had yet to excel in. He wanted to leave his mark on the world and unfortunately money was a necessary evil in his chosen profession. That amount of money could change everything for him, and maybe Rey would be disappointed but he could make it up to her couldn't he? It was just one more week after all. No big deal.

'Okay. I'll do it.'

'Adda boy. Act surprised when the Dean tells you about all this tomorrow. Poe out!'

**********

Thursday

You need to tell Rey and yet you haven't even contacted her have you? Because you don't have the balls to tell her the truth because you're a massive pussy Ben Solo. You don't deserve your penis.

Eventually Rey had text him and he had told her he had to work but he hadn't even had the guts to tell her exactly what the deal was.

PUSSY.

Her response was difficult to read:

That's okay. Yeah next weekend. That will be great. x

Was she mad? Was she being understanding? Was she burning the ripped up pieces of his magazine debut that very moment cursing the day she ever saw his stupid face? He wasn't sure. Anyway it didn't matter, he could straighten it all out with Rey when he saw her again. He just had to get through the next few days and then that money would be his. He would have ample time to make it up to Rey. Hopefully the rich brat who came as part of the deal wouldn't be too much of a handful.

**********

Friday

Ben picked up his phone to text Rey a hundred times but every time he did his mind went blank. He didn't want to say he was spending his Saturday with another woman, but he didn't want to keep lying to her either. It was a fucking mess. The only thing that was keeping him going was the thought of the money.