Letters

3. To my soulmate

Dear Soulmate,

Sometimes I think about what would change if I had the right words or if I was the perfect person. What difference would it make if you had the manual of how I function? Would you treat me solely how you have been told I should be treated? Or would you treat even better, with love?

If you had my manual, falling in love would not be fascinating. The excitement derived from finding out what makes a person who a person is. A person's belief, a person's aspirations, a person's view, all that drives a person is exciting to learn about. I hope you are curious about me.

If you had my manual, you will miss out on the days when I will naturally disappoint you, simple because, as different people, we may not see eye to eye on certain things. I hope when that time comes, you're mature enough to stay, understanding that my imperfections do not outweigh who I am as a person.

My name means pleasant, just as I am hoping our encounter will be. If not the first time, then at least, the last and forever best. I hope our bond would be strong enough to withstand even the strongest storms, and when that season comes, I hope I am not the only one fighting. I hope you too, show care, show love, and show compassion.

Loving me requires patience, but it will be one fun ride when things are great. I hope your actions, not your words, reassures me and I have no cause to fear. I hope with you, I can feel safe. My body, my heart and the emotions that comes with, I hope with you, I can show it to in little dozes and never feel like those pieces have forever been lost.

At times when I am hurt, I could say spiteful things, none of which I hope you know is true. I am filled with distrust, for there were some people before you, who did not leave behind good examples. So on days when I move in ways you do not understand, I hope you don't give up on me, for I too, will not give up on you so easily.

I am changing. I am learning to love deeply and be trustful. I have never caged anyone with my love, I will not do so for you. I will not try to change you, I will accept you as you, but all I ask for, is for you to show me who you are and accept me for me too.

        Correct me when I'm wrong, but I hope you don't look down on me, or change your perspective or me, simply for those moments, for I am not and never will be all knowing. I want to stand by your side during the good and the bad times, but I hope, your side can shield me from the world's hurt and not inflict it.

        Whenever you say you love me, I hope and I will trust that it is true.