Pictures of You

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Mum had an Uber account that she'd set up for me ages ago. I had the app on my phone, and was to use it only in emergencies. I figured this was that time. I'd never had to use it before, so I was out in the streets for a couple of minutes before even remembering I had it. Mum wouldn't want me out in the streets of London in the early hours of the morning. Of course when she saw her account had been charged, she'd want a full explanation of what that emergency was. I'd worry about that later. All I wanted right now was to get back to the safety of my room.

As the taxi pulled up at the front of the pub, I looked around for the creepy guy who'd been watching me since I got to London. I'd learnt to ignore him, as long as I was locked in my room with the curtains closed. But here I was, alone, outside at two in the morning.

I couldn't see him anywhere, but that worried me just as much. What if he was hiding, waiting for the car to drive away before he jumped out. I had my key ready as I got out the back of the taxi. I wanted to get inside as quickly as possible, but also I could have him in the eye with it if he attacked me. I managed to get inside without any drama, and checked the door was locked behind me. I was safe.

I had a look around for him again when I got to my room before closing the curtains. He was nowhere to be seen. I guess even creepy stalkers needed to sleep too. I stripped down to my boxers, brushed my teeth and got into bed. I was exhausted, but everything that had happened was still running through my mind and keeping me awake.

I picked up my phone. I needed to speak to him; Alex.

There was a message from Ben, apologising. I read it and deleted it without replying. Instead I started typing a message to Alex. I needed it to be something that showed I was still interested in him, without scaring him off.

I decided to keep it simple.

Hey sexy - How r u?

I watched my phone for a couple of moments after sending it. He didn't respond, but why would he? It was after two in the morning.

I put the phone at the side of the bed, turned the lamp off and closed my eyes. I eventually drifted off to sleep.

When I woke the next day, it took a few moments to remember what has happened with Ben the night before. I felt bad. I had severely overreacted; no doubt a result of the huge quantities of vodka I'd consumed. So I sent him a message, thanking him for last night and apologising for the way I'd left.

I'd kind of hoped I would have gotten a rey from Alex from the DM I'd sent him, but there was nothing. I clicked on my messages to check he'd read it, but they were no longer showing. I typed his handle name into the search box.

Profile no longer active.

He was gone. I'd feared this for a while, but now he'd actually done it.

He had ghosted me.

I felt disappointed, sad, angry, all at the same time. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to go back to that gym and tell him exactly what I thought of him. I'd given him time. I'd backed off as I knew he struggled with anxiety. But deleting his profile without telling me felt like he was throwing it all back in my face.

Was Alex real at all? If not, then someone had been playing me. If he was, then he wasn't someone I wanted to be with. How could he do this to me?

I thought about Ben and the way he'd offered himself to me last night. I turned him down, for what? A man who didn't care about me at all.

Suddenly I had an overwhelming feeling to see Ben; be with him. I wanted to him to hold me. I could have been waking up this morning in his arms; in his bed. But I'd turned him down.