The Flower that Grew

Erase Pain

Paralysing the overwhelming strain in my brain. Weight upon my shoulders it always seems to remain. Constantly overthinking and analyzing pushing me down and pulling farther than the surface going down below to where I can't find any purpose. It's so frustrating my throat is sore and I just can't muster out a scream so I can release some of this anxiety. So much upon me I can't even see as far as two feet in front of me. How do I even begin to reminisce on how much I've missed a void I feel that could never be missed. You always left a gash in my heart it seems, silly as I think of now of me as a child wishing you to be… to be someone more than what you've been someone in hiding of fear of being free. Your the only one applying your chains making yourself a slave captive to the pain you wanted to erase. I sure hell don't wanna end up like you, screwed up and confused. I don't wanna think about it but you might have very well just have OD'd sometimes I feel guilty to even say I wish you have so I don't have to worry maybe so much then I can maybe try to erase the thought myself and try to eradicate my own pain. Needle to your arm or smoke to your lips I shall never duplicate your actions. You have made me anxious and depressed never to feel anything ever the same but unlike you I will never feel the deranged cracked out insanity you possess. Taken back the life you could have made also for yourself I'm building a fortress to protect as you should have done with me. You left your walls open allowing false knights to enter into what should have been a sacred place I'm protecting the walls that once never stood. I'm remaking the life you should have made and obliterating every toxic strain to hopefully someday not to have to have so much pain.