Euphoria

| Introduction

My brother always use to fight with my mom. Bicker. Argue. Whatever you wanna call it. About drinking, smoking, drugs, girls, basically all his bad habits. I was young when she died. 8 or 9, I'm not exactly sure. But I remember the day. So clearly in my mind.

I hoped off the big yellow school bus to no one waiting at the stop sign. She usually stood there and waited for me. I'd run into her arms, secretly smell her as I buried myself into her loving warmth. She smelt so safe. I still remember the scent. I still smell her sometimes. She'd take my hand and walk me inside, we'd talk about everything and she always knew how to make me smile and laugh after a rough day. But I got off that bus and no one was there. But I knew my way home. So I walked back myself. I reached up on my little tippy toes, being the shorty that I still am today and went inside. It was cold, dark, and I didn't smell anything yummy cooking that night. I tugged off my red billy boots and dropped my little matching rain coat to the floor along with my heavy school bag. I called for her a few times. "Mommy?" She never answered. Bellamy wasn't home either. But I was use to that. My big brother, was just my brother then. He only really became my best friend that night. I was quite an independent child for an 8 year old. I remember not being able to turn the lights on because I was too short. But I managed to find some left over pasta in the fridge and I sat up on the counter and ate it.

  It was getting late, at least I thought it was. It was mid-winter, it got dark earlier so it could've easily been 6:30. I had fallen asleep on the counter anyways.  Shivering in my sleep, I finally felt warm hands rest on my arm slowly waking me. I smile even before my eyes open but the smile quickly fades to a frown. "Where's mommy." I said, not a question. I said it like I wanted her and wanted her now. Bellamys eyes dropped, his cold, harsh look was gone. I finally saw the face that had been hidden all these years. He looked me in the eyes and sat me up. "O...."

      "The bad guys got her..." He whispered to me and I shook my head. "She's gone." He told me and I slapped him. I jumped a little, shocking myself. I honestly don't know why I did. I was angry, upset, the emotion I felt is one I still don't know how to explain. But I punched him and slapped him again and spit at him, yelling and screaming. He just stood there and let me. I was so tiny, of course I wasn't actually hurting him but I didn't stop. Eventually when I began kicking him he grabbed my legs and pulled me closer to him. I was crying and telling him to make it stop. It was a hurt I'd never felt before. And it never really goes away. I gave up and just hugged him, clinging to him, refusing to let go.

   We lived in LA at the time so there were gangs everywhere. My father was a bad man, so it goes. I never really met him. At least I don't remember meeting him. But according to my mom, he was a bad guy. I don't know the extent of the things he was involved in, but I do know my mother was involved in the aftermath. There's one rule about gangs. Once you know someone involved, you are involved.... forever. I guess my dad never repaid one of his debts and unfortunately my mom paid for that.

      I'm 22 now, Bellamy and I live in Florida. We moved out of there as soon as possible. We left everything behind. I know it was hard for Bell to drop everything, his whole life. His friends, his teenage years. He did it to protect me, to give me a better life and he did a pretty damn good job. There were a few tiffs. Like when he started drinking again, or when he got a girlfriend. But he always bounced back and circled around to putting me first in his every decision.

     Sometimes I feel guilty, most times actually. I feel like I was the one who destroyed his life. But I would never change our past because it's what brought us together and now we are closer then ever. Just last week I had my first real job interview. I'm desperately trying to become a nurse. Bellamys been in the law enforcement for years. A police officer looks good on him, it keeps him in line. We're planning a trip back to LA in a few weeks. Bellamy recently got in touch with some old buddy's and they invited him up to one of their cottages. I'm the annoying little sister so yes I'm going to be tagging along.

    2006-
One evening, back in LA. Bellamy had a few friends over. They were sitting in the living room playing video games and I was leaning against the side of the couch watching. "Bellamy." I whined. "Bell I wanna play." I said. "Bellamyyyyy." I flipped over the couch. "O shut up! Go away. Come on go play with your own toys." Bellamy shoved me and I let out a sigh. "But I Wanna play with you." I sat back up. "Octavia go see mom." Bellamy continued playing his game ignoring me. I let out a big dramatic sigh this time and causally turned off the tv when I passed by. The tv goes black and all the guys stood up annoyed. "Octavia! Go away you're being an annoying brat!" He pushed me. "We're going in the basement. Don't follow us." He told me and I sat on the couch and frowned. All the guys followed him downstairs. "Hey Octavia..." I heard and turned around. Lincoln, one of Bellamys friend, was standing behind me. "You want some cookies?" He asked pulling some out of his school bag. "Ok." I answered shyly. He went to hand me the baggie but stoped. "I'll give them to you on one condition." He told me. "You have to be my best friend." I thought for a second and then nodded. "Ok." I smiled just excited for the cookies. He handed me the baggie and smiled back. "See ya latter bestie." He put his bag down and went down to the guys.

       I never really spoke to any of his friends after that. I don't even really remember Bellamy talking to them much either. But I'm happy they're going to get to reconnect. Bell deserves to let loose and have some fun.