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PADMÉ REMEMBERED WHEN THINGS WERE SIMPLER.
When she was younger and hadn't met Anakin. When all she had to worry about was if she would be a good queen. A fearless leader when she needed to be and a kind woman when she needed to be. When her only fears were talking to other officials and making herself sound proper.
Not that she regretted what she did with Anakin. She loved that man with all her heart. Padmé would never say she regretted that. No way in the galaxy would she ever regret Anakin.
But everything was so complicated no. Layers upon layers. And not that it was a bad thing because well, layers can be good. She learned earlier on that nothing was set in stone; nothing was black and white.
And Anakin was certainly proof of that.
He could be so kind and so gentle but so angry and hurt and possessive. He was a hard man to manage but Padmé knew that his heart was good. The struggles with Vader - he told her. He told her that he saw her dying at childbirth. That Palpatine, a friend who manipulated him since the beginning, had promised a way to save her.
"I didn't want to lose you," Anakin murmured. "Not like my mother."
And Padmé's heart broke because she was there when Anakin came back from seeing his mother die. She understood his pain and his concern and his worry. She didn't approve of most of his actions but that didn't mean she didn't understand them. And sometimes that was the most important thing in a relationship. Just understanding. And then helping.
The Council never understood her husband. Anakin cared and loved and created attachments because that's who he was. That's what made him strong. It was his greatest strength and worst weakness. But like any sort of emotion, with the right nurting, he could have come out all right. If the Council had just paid attention and cared and listened...
But it was no point in wasting battered breath on the past. There was no point in wishing things to be different. Wishing that she had grown up with the twins and Anakin. Wishing that she had helped raise both of them.
There was no point.
She would remember those moments - of Anakin looking at her, pained and scared and hurt and angry - she remembered all of it. But she let it go.
She would remember the want of death when she gave birth. The pain too overwhelming to continue - Obi-Wan begging her to carry on. And when she did, she remembered feeling hopeless. Knowing only what the Jedi and Bail told her. She remembered watching Leia grow and being proud but wishing Luke was there as well.
She would remember all of that.
But she had her children now. She had Anakin now. She watched them all grow. Anakin helping the twins become great Jedi. The twins and their friend Ezra growing closer and closer. She watched as Leia got close to Han and the two of them start to fall in love.
Padmé found it endearing; Anakin when he found out looked like he wanted to throw Han out into space. Padmé laughed and then told him off, saying that Leia was her own person.
The four of them were a family. Like she wanted them to be.
The days on Ahtohallan flied by and Padmé cherished the moments she had. With the Empire still out there, she had no idea if their days were numbered or not.
Padmé sighed, focusing on the vegetables she was cutting up. They had spent four years on this planet now and she loved to cook. She helped Leia but it was Luke who was the better cook.
"It's honestly no surprise to me," Leia shrugged. "I tried to cook with some of the servants at Alderaan. I failed miserably."
Padmé chuckled at the memory just as arms wrapped around her waist.
"What are you thinking about angel?" Anakin kissed her cheek and Padmé hummed.
"Just old memories." she sighed. "What's up? Something wrong?" she looked at him curiously, feeling like something was up.
Anakin frowned. "There's this weird feeling. Like an old friend, coming back. Obi-Wan feels it too."
"I feel what?" Obi-Wan asked, coming in from the side.
"The old friend feeling?" Anakin clarified and Obi-Wan 'ah'ed and nodded.
Padmé smiled at the two of them, knowing that they had reconciled and it almost felt like they were back to being normal.
"Hey - uh!" Ezra suddenly skidded into the room, flailing for a second. The young man had grown up considerably, growing into a sharper and more defined figure. His hair grew out, loose around the edges and got longer into a loose and short pony tail. It was a look that Padmé thought suited him.
"What is it?" Anakin asked.
"Uh - we - uh - we got company?" Ezra looked concerned and confused when Luke suddenly burst in, shouting, "The Rebellion is here!"
Padmé wanted to say something but the plate fell from her fingers and into the sink when a familiar figure stepped through the doorway and into the room behind Ezra and Luke.
Ahsoka tilted her head and quirked a smile. "Hey Skyguy."
