If I Go

6.

The funeral ended normally, without me having another break down or a meteor falling on our heads. I stood there for a long time, staring at Yongguk’s new grave. A hand on my shoulder startled me out of my reverie, and I looked up to see the grieving faces of Yongguk’s parents. His mom was crying, dabbing her eyes with a tissue and clinging onto her husband. His dad smiled at me sadly, removing his hand from my shoulder. They didn’t say anything, just stood with me for a while before leaving. I probably wouldn’t see them again, me being a reminder of what they had lost. In all fairness, I didn’t really want to see them again either, to see the unspoken accusations and hate directed at me. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. My phone signaled that I had a text, and I pulled it out. It was from Zelo, probably wondering how I was doing and if I was okay. I clicked on it and waited for it to load.

To: Himchan

From: Zelo

We have the little brat. Come to the pier in 30 minutes, alone or the boy will die.

My phone slipped out of my hands, landing on the freshly turned soil. My heart froze over, and I had difficulty breathing. Zelo had gone to see Soul Connection against my will, and now they had captured him. I was going to save Zelo no doubt, even if it meant they would kill me. A small part of me just hoped they would beat me up and let me go, but I think I pissed Taecyeon off enough to want blood. Scooping up my phone, I began running to the pier.

I have a theory about demons, you know. There are four types of people. Angels are pure souls, who cannot be corrupted by anyone or anything. They exist to help people and make them smile. Daehyun is an angel. There are people who hang out with angels or the demons, but are just in the middle. They can be corrupted, but just as easily brought back to pureness. Zelo and Yongguk are examples of this. Then, there are demons who are corrupt and evil people. They try and turn normal people into demons like them, who live to hurt and cause pain to people. Taecyeon is a good example of a demon. As I run, I think about where I fit in. I’m not an angel, nor a demon. I’m not normal either. I pass on a bad luck, which infects everyone around them. Yongguk, then Daehyun and finally Zelo. That’s the thing about being infected. The disease worms its way deep inside, so you look normal and nice. Then, it slowly eats its way to the front, jumping from one person to another. Well, I was going to fix it and kill the disease. This wasn’t a disease where you could eventually find a cure or where it fades away after a while. This sickness would stay forever, infecting more and more people. The only way to kill it was to die myself.

I thought about this, lungs burning as I ran toward my final destination. I hoped they made it a quick death, clean and efficient. I doubted it though, Taecyeon would want to drag it out and make me suffer. Maybe I deserved it after all the things I had done. With each step I took, I was coming closer to my death.

I knew this was coming though. Taecyeon was a storm, hovering over me and threatening to kill me. Daehyun was a shelter for a short time, a reprieve and safety. But you can’t always hide eventually you have to face the storm and consequences.  When I was hiding in the safety of Daehyun, the storm grew bigger and angrier, getting ready to unleash chaos and terror on me. When the downpour finally came it would be destructive and terrible.

Reaching the gate to the pier, I took a deep breath and prayed for the ability to withstand the storm until I get Zelo into safety. I hoped Yongguk was watching so he would be able to see me be as strong as he always was. Don’t worry Yongguk, I’ll be coming soon. A laugh boomed out from beside me, and I turned to see Soul Connection leaning on the railing by the water. Taecyeon stood in the front, GD and Kyuhyun behind him, and Zico to the side. Hoon was holding up Zelo, who sagged half unconscious in the other’s arms.