Return to Neverland (snowbaz)

A Fresh Start

In all honesty, the past few months had been incredibly difficult for Baz. He was, of course, elated to have Simon with him in London for the foreseeable future, but just redoing Simon's memories wasn't enough to secure a place for him in the modern world. Papers and documents had to be created, his family had to be manipulated, and stories had to be learned. It had been a tedious process, especially for the first week. As soon as Simon fell asleep that first night, his memory altered, Baz, Penny, and Ebb had to clarify what he should remember when he woke up. Baz wanted to know how Simon believed they'd met so he didn't muck it up. That was, in his mind, the most important thing.

"Basically," Penny told him, "it's the same story minus the whole fantasy world and the ability to fly bit. You were reading a story at a library to your sister and Simon heard you. He came back everyday for weeks just to hear your voice until he got the guts to ask you out. Been dating for about a month, now."

"But it feels like longer for him," Ebb had chimed in. "I didn't change the way he feels about you. Wanted to keep it as is."

Baz had wanted to ask what exactly it was that Simon felt for him, but he didn't ask. 

Penny and Ebb explained that, when Simon woke up, he would believe that he was taking a year off from school to figure out what he wanted to do with his life and that he'd been in care homes for most of his life until recently when he found a dodgy flat that Baz had insisted he move out of. According to Simon's new memories, Baz had offered for him to stay at his house until Simon found a new flat that was in a safer area. Thankfully, Baz's family was at the estate in Oxford for the week for some event or another that Baz didn't want to attend, so all he had to do was find Simon a place to live in by the end of the week. If it didn't work out, he could at least have time to explain to his parents that he'd been secretly seeing Simon for a month and that he needed a place to crash and, since the house was practically empty, Baz had offered to let him stay there.

Baz was afraid to go to sleep that night. His mind was on overdrive, thinking about how it was entirely possible that the magic hadn't worked and that Simon would wake up and have no idea where he was. Or who Baz was. 

When he woke up, though, he saw Simon grinning at him.

Today, almost exactly a week later, Baz is helping Simon move into his new flat. Penny had managed to bring back quite a lot of gold that Baz sold to get turned into cash for Simon to use to pay for his new flat. Simon had decided that university was not for him and that he would be much happier learning how to bake at a nearby bakery. It's only been two days of him working, but he seems to really enjoy it, so Baz is happy for him. It beats fucking around with pirates, for certain.

"I feel like you don't have enough stuff," Baz tells him, setting the last box down in what will soon be Simon's bedroom. 

Simon shrugs at him. "I don't really need that much stuff," he says. "Just a bed, a toothbrush, some food, and you." 

Baz rolls his eyes, but he wraps his arms around Simon's waist and plants a kiss on his forehead. "You do know that I'm not living with you, right?"

Simon's grin falls and his eyebrows furrow. "Yeah, but you'll come 'round, yeah?"

"You have my word," Baz says. "I'll haunt your doorstep day and night. All of the neighbors will wonder how you've managed to attract such a handsome stalker." 

He likes to make little allusions to Neverland every now and again, just to gauge Simon's reaction. Well, actually, it had been Penny's idea at first. 

"Just to see if the magic holds!"

But now, since he knows that the magic is holding, it feels more like a little secret than it does some sort of test. It feels like he can somehow show Simon how much he loves him without saying those words at all. It reminds him of everything they've been through when things were very high stakes and life or death, and it helps him remember that, given all of that, living a normal life together shouldn't be a problem. 

"You're not stalking me," Simon protests. "If anything, I stalked you. In the beginning, anyway." 

Baz smiles at him. He really hates having to elaborate about how they met because what Simon believes isn't how it happened. Baz knows that the whole new memories ordeal is probably for the best, but it still breaks his heart knowing that he's the only one that will really remember all of their firsts: the first time he saw Simon, the first time they kissed, the first time they saw each other naked as they showered together. 

"Just kiss me, you thumping idiot." 

And Simon does. 

When it all happened, right after Simon woke up, Baz was scared that the kisses wouldn't be the same anymore. He was afraid that, somehow, Simon's old lifestyle had contributed to the way he kissed––like each kiss might be his last.

But each kiss still feels like that––like Simon is setting Baz alight from the inside. His chin still juts out like it's a challenge, and Baz is living for it. There are no mermaids or pirates for them to worry about now, so Baz lets himself get lost in the kiss. He pulls Simon closer so their bodies are flush against each other. Baz can feel every muscle through Simon's thin tee-shirt, but what he really wants to do is to be able to see those muscles without Simon's shirt in the way. He fiddles with the hem of it and Simon grins into the kiss before pulling back and making quick work of losing his shirt.

In the shower, Baz didn't have the chance to really admire Simon's physical beauty. It was too tender and sad for Baz to feel like he could run his fingers along the lines in Simon's stomach, but he can, now. And he does. Simon shivers under the touch, especially when Baz brings his lips towards Simon's scars across his chest like he did that night. Simon moans and tugs at Baz's hair, obviously a little too pleased to have the height advantage since Baz is leaning down. 

"Fuck, Baz," Simon growls when Baz starts to go lower, right towards Simon's waist.

They haven't had sex or gone below the belt, but they've kissed shirtless a few times, now. Baz would love to have sex with him, to give himself to Simon in that way, but it's clear that it makes Simon nervous. It's got something to do with the constant nightmares that Simon has these days, Baz thinks. From the sound of it, he recalls Neverland in his dreams, but never the good things: just the pain and the bomb and the pirates. Baz is afraid of what will happen when he isn't next to Simon to help him calm down after one of the night terrors takes hold of him. He wants to casually mention that he's adjusted the settings on his phone so Simon's calls always come through, even if the phone is on do not disturb, but he doesn't want Simon to think that he's coddling him. Even now, Simon is stubborn and almost always refuses to have serious conversations. 

"We––we should unpack," Simon mutters, pushing Baz off of him. "And you need to get home soon, anyway. Your parents are coming back from Oxford today." 

"Since when have you been the responsible one in this relationship?"

Simon shoots him a sheepish smile. "I just––I don't want them to get cross with you."

Baz kisses him softly on the lips. "Yes, well, they'll probably be cross with me no matter what I do."

Simon frowns at him for a moment before he tugs on his hand. "Come on, darling," Simon says, knowing that the pet name is Baz's weakness, "help me unpack."