Addicted to You

XXIX

"He loves me..."

Snape stayed quiet; he was upset to hear it even though he knew it was obvious. He clenched his jaw and looked at her small form, wishing he could make her pain go away. "Anyone would be a fool not to." he muttered and let his thumb caress her wet face as tears soaked her pillow and his hand. She let her tears fall as she gazed at the man who was so concerned for her.

His gaze met her own. "You love him too, don't you?"

Hermione sniffled and bowed her head, afraid of what would come out of her mouth in this state. Would he become angry and yell at her too if he came to know the truth even if it wasn't what he thought? Her voice was dry and it cracked as she replied, "Yes."

He breathed in deeply and nodded, remaining silent. He did not shy away or pull back from her. He stayed with her even then. She knew he couldn't have been pleased to hear her response but she was shocked that he didn't react brashly. Rather, he was sad. Something he had said to her that morning was ringing through her head...

Just know that at the end of the day, you'll always have someone who loves you, no matter what you choose...

His love for her was stronger than his hatred for others. Even though he had heard her honest answer, he remained with her because he loved her. Hermione's lip quivered with new tears threatening to fall. "I love you more." she said, earnestness oozing out of her as she pulled him closer to her and squeezed his hand over her beating heart.

"I know." he said sadly and slowly, almost choking.

Hermione could see it tearing him apart inside but she needed him to know, "He wanted a big family and kids and a home in the country. He thought we would be blissfully happy, like his parents are..."

"A reasonable dream." he said curtly, broken. Why was she telling him this, when he probably could never give her all that?

She had never seen him so crushed. She took his hand and said, "I thought, Ron's dream would become my own, until you came and showed me another world entirely." A ghost of a smile played across her face. "You have bewitched my mind and ensnared my senses...and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone but you."

He was touched by her stating out the reasons for her absolute commitment to him and his throat closed up with his emotions; for the time being he could do nothing but brush his fingers through her hair and rub her arms comfortingly as she continued, "But I know what I did to him- them- was wrong. After all that they've done...I wish things weren't like that. I'm not saying I regret anything...I just wish we could be like how we were before. I wish he and I could remain as friends..."

He kept silent and listened, unable to stop her from blaming herself. The last thing he heard her mumble, before she drifted off into a tired slumber, was, "He's going to hate me...they're all gonna hate me forever."

***************************

Long after Hermione had stopped heaving and had been drained enough to succumb to sleep, Snape remained awake. He still had his arm around her but he was staring up at the ceiling and thinking things over. Whenever he felt her body tremble, he ran soothing circles on her skin to calm her.

It was early in the morning, when Hermione wasn't fully awake, that she felt Snape shift beside her in bed and then carefully extract himself from her, but her senses did not function properly as yet nor did her tired limbs muster up the energy to draw him back to herself. She couldn't tell correctly, but after a while, she felt someone sit beside her in bed. She got a whiff of freshly applied cologne and thus could tell it was him; she felt him brush a strand of hair out of her face as he bent down to kiss her head. "I love you." she heard him say, but her eyelids were too heavy to open still.