Faith Prevails, Just Believe

Chapter eighteen

Hakim

Natasha Alicia Jackson, Soon to be Natasha Alicia Jahan.

I like the sound of that, no, let me rephrase that, I bloody love the sound of that.
 

To finally be marrying the woman of my dreams is very surreal. Natasha, the only woman who is compatible with me on so many levels. The fact that it took me all this time to realise it ...shows  I have been a complete and utter diot.

She has always been blatantly clear about her feelings. She had showed me time and time, over the years that she has always been in love with me. The little annoying girl, who followed me everywhere, her overbearing  larger than life personality. Her my way or the highway take on life. These are just a few traits of hers that I have come to love overtime.

Natasha Jackson has a take it or leave it persona, and Damn... I’m going to take all off it...every single inch of her.. In sha Allah.

My daughter Shalina is the icing on the cake. Being a father has changed me for the better, to be a father to not only one but two beautiful girls,well words fail me.

I never used to think much about my faith. I’ve always taken it for granted. As a child who was exposed to religion from a very young age, I’ve never had a connection or inclination towards it. My father tried his best, as a parent he did his part but if you're not ready to open up and embrace it, then there's no point in forcing yourself because of some sense of obligation. 

Well... that was what I used to think. Now when I look back, I can't believe how ignorant and arrogant I was. Making up pathetic excuses to justify my behaviour was very immature of me.

I needed to focus on my relationship with Allah.The Almighty sees all and hears all. Only he knows what’s true in your heart. Repenting is so satisfying when you know that if you  turn to him then all will be forgiven. 

I can never thank Yasmeen enough for the way I am right now. Yasmeen showed me the true way. Allah works in mysterious ways by bringing Yasmeen in to my shambles of a life.
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In the beginning of our marriage I made her life so difficult. The beautiful, patient woman she was,would take everything I threw at her and just carried on with a smile. She was an angel sent to earth albeit for a little while so she could show a sinner like me that it's never too late to believe. I didn't deserve her at all but I guess fate and kismet were collaborating together and although I miss her terribly I’ll never regret the fact that even though I married her out of spite , if I were to do it again...I'll do it all in a heartbeat. Reason one... she changed me for the better,  and brought me closer to Allah, reason two was finding comfort and love in a special woman like Yasmeen ...even though I wasn’t in love with her, I grew to love her for who she was as a person,and the last reason is obviously my beautiful,little angel Jannat.

When I look into her eyes I see her mother staring back at me. The little bundle of immense joy kept me afloat when her mother passed away. That was one of the worst days of my life. The irony, the raw heartbreak and my Yasmeen’s last words.”  Stay strong, just believe”, which she then recited the precious Kalimah and then she was gone. If it wasn't for Yasmen,I would have questioned my faith again an again , but the person I became during my time with her changed me for the better. 

Allah indeed has a plan for us all. Yes, we may question it at times, but we know that everything happens for a reason and the trials and errors  that we go through is part of what he has planned for us. At times you can’t make sense of it all. The bloody devil whispers in your ear to make you see his side of things, whispering and whispering , but then you look upwards, no matter where you are and you know that as long as you have Allah, you will overcome anything.