- i've been searching for it way too long now

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when i'm around you
i'm a bomb,
ready to explode,
but someone put me
on pause

i don't know
for how long i will be able
to keep my mouth shut
because the things i'm
calling you in my head
are impatiently waiting
to roll off my tongue
leave my lips
and crash into your mind

but once i said it, what
will you do?
and what will change?

will you yell at me?
if, well, you'd have no right
for that
because i am not the one
who betrayed you

will you apologize?
don't
because i won't
believe it anyway

will you explain?
fuck an explanation,
it won't make things
better because no
i won't understand

i got so many questions,
but actually don't
wanna know the answers

and yes,
maybe there's no point
in being mad at you
but what even is any point?

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