COLLAPSED ᵀᵂᴰ¹ ✔

78. who we used to be

She looked at him and he seemed to be thinking about her words, weighing them in his head to form his own opinion on the matter. She loved that expression on his face when he was lost in thought and it slightly scared her how fast her heart started beating when she studied him like this.

'I'm just scared that I'll never be able to move on,' she whispered, her voice dropping, just like her courage to say any another word. But somehow she knew he wouldn't judge her for saying what was on her mind. 'I don't know if I ever can get used to...' She gestured to the house behind them. 'This again.'

For a second he said nothing and simply considered her words. 'Maybe we ain't meant to find peace,' he suggested. 'Carl, Judith, they deserve a life. Ain't so sure we do.'

'Yeah,' she mumbled, her heart feeling heavy in her chest. He did have a point because after all they'd been through, did they even deserve to find peace? Places like this were a heaven they could never belong in and maybe it was just about making it save so that those who did deserve it could live here and start building a life again.

They didn't speak much more, just sat in silence with their own thoughts. Simply enjoying being in each other's company while keeping watch over their family. They never needed much words to communicate anyway, she knew he was feeling out of place, just like she did. She knew they were both feeling like intruders, not meant to mingle with people this untouched by the horrors of the world. Both of them were painted pitch black, their souls no longer pure and she felt as if by staying here, they were bound to leave a mark on this place that would not be able to be erased.

She didn't have to say a word to know he felt the same way and she was thankful to know she wasn't the only one feeling like she was infecting this place.

The sun had started to rise, slowly its light upon the world. If she closed her eyes she could distantly remember the last time she'd seen such a peaceful sunrise. She'd been standing on the guard tower of the prison for her morning watch duty. Rick was working on the fields below her while Carol had been cooking dinner. It felt like a lifetime ago and for a long time she believed they would never be able to get that back. But looking at the sunrise now, the light falling on the houses spread out inside the wall, she could almost taste the feeling of peace again. Though it tasted a lot more bitter than it used to. But she supposed that was just happened when the world had turned your soul black.

The sound of a door opening and closing came from behind them and they both turned around to see Rick walking outside, followed by Glenn, Maggie, Noah and Beth, with Rosita and Tara right behind them. Carl followed with Judith on his arm and Michonne right behind them like a guardian angel.

Quinn frowned when she saw Beth giving Noah a quick and careful hug before waving at him as he walked away with Tara and Glenn. A small smile formed on her face, she should've known something would happen between those two.

'Where's he going?' Quinn questioned, making Beth turn to look at her.

'He's been given the job of a supply run, together with Glenn and Tara,' she explained. 'It's only just a practice run, getting to know the terrain outside the walls,' she added, seeming to want to comfort herself.

Quinn smiled at the teenager. 'I'm sure they'll be fine. Glenn knows what he's doing.'

She nodded. 'I know.' Then she offered her a small wave and heading into the direction of her new job. Her position on the porch was quickly taken by Rick, who came walking outside.

'They said explore,' he said, though it sounded like he didn't agree at all. His gaze turned to the two of them. 'Let's explore.'

'Nah, I'll stay,' Daryl replied, pulling up his legs to rest his arms on his knees.