Men Who Sin

Chapter Twelve [Chicken Pox]

"What? I have to ask you before I decide to go to church? It's never to late to turn your life around" I mumbled getting upset.

"I have no problem with church, I believe in God but I also commit sins every day and I'm not going to step foot into a church and lie when I know I'm going to continue to do the same shit I've been doing. When our daughter gets older and she wonders why I don't ever go to church or why you and I live two completely different lifestyles what are you going to tell her? Daddies the bad guy whose more than likely going to hell?" He questioned and I put the dress down.

"Fine, I won't go just stop" I mumbled rubbing my eyes as everyone else minded their own business and occupied themselves on the phone. Jesse's face softened and he walked out making me shove the dress back into the bag.

"Cmon E let's work on the crib" Zaire said and he and Elias stood up and pulled out the instructions quietly.

"He just doesn't want to confuse her that's all, Just leave it alone for right now and talk to him about it another time" Moriah said staring into my eyes and I nodded.

"Help me up so we can put this in the closet" I said rubbing my eyes changing the subject as he helped me up.

Two hours later we were finished with everything and I stood back admiring the light yellow and green colors on the wall making the room seem calm. Moriah had painted a tree of life above where her crib now is a few days before.

The light brown crib blended in well with the walls and the tan carpet and the matching rocking chair and furniture.

"Is my dad here?" I questioned wanting to show him the finish product. He'd been trying to take in all of this but I can tell it was getting hard.

"Which one? If you talking about Silas he went out to a strip club with O and our biological father is downstairs with mama" Elias stated and I nodded.

"Go tell them the room is done, I'm gonna go talk to Jesse" I said and Mo walked out to go get them while I headed to my bedroom.

Jesse was seated on the bed with his back against the headboard. He glanced over at me before looking away making me feel bad for even bringing it up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd care this much about it but it is a big deal and I don't want to make it seem like your the bad guy because you're not, I've done a lot of bad things too" I said quietly and he sniffled shocking the hell out of me, it was rare so see him even shed a tear.

I climbed in bed with him as he looked away rubbing his eyes and I watched him for a moment knowing trying to talk to him right now would be useless.

"Sometimes I just need a wake up call, I know I'm more than likely going to hell but that still doesn't change my outlook on life. I just don't want it to be a thing where because you take her to church and she hears one thing and then I have to lie to her about what I do, do you understand?" He asked and I chewed the inside of my cheek.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you, I don't want to be a single mother. I'm thinking about the last mistakes that my mom made with me and I don't want to make those same mistakes" I said as he pulled me into his lap.

"You not, I'm always gon be here, I gotta keep the young niggas away from her when she older so trust and believe I ain't letting nobody take me out" he said making me laugh as he kissed my neck.

Wrapping my arms around his neck I deepened the kiss as I moved so that I was straddling his lap and he smirked.

"Damn babe your really burning up, I think your really sick" I mumbled feeling how warm his body was. I felt his forehead and looked at him worried as he kissed me again.