It is Dark

I wake, and it is dark. My alarm goes off, and my arm punches it; as a reflex. I don't want to get up, have the same routine, especially since I didn't get new electives. It feels like life is just droning on, the same things, the same life.

It'll get harder, I know that, but after high school what happens? Adulthood? What if I don't find my 'special someone' and can't have kids? What is we die before that? It's not like global warming isn't gonna kill us.

So what- we're just waiting to die? Why wait? I don't get it? Ugh, I should get up. My body slowly walks down the hallway into the dark kitchen. I make my arm reach out and press the light switch. I feel my eyes squint at the brightness, and heavily sit down at the table.

I'm not hungry. I don't need to eat. I sigh. So much wasted time. I get dressed, put my hat on, and sit on my bed. It's 7. I don't know why anybody isn't up yet. They should be up.

My mouth inhales, and quickly exhales. Then quicker. I need to get out. I need to run. I can't stay! I grab $10 and my phone, then race downstairs. My hand unlocks the door and I step out into the cold air of the morning. I sigh, and a strong gust of breath comes out of my mouth.

I start to walk across my neighbour's garden, my feet falling heavily on the wet grass. I'll go to the station. Catch a bus to.. I don't know- school? Would it even be open? I feel my head lift, and I look up at the sky. Vibrant colours have been splashed across the horizon, and clouds work together to create so many shapes. I could find many creatures if I wanted, but I'm busy. Always busy. No one has time to look at the things that used to amuse us so much anymore.

I reach the station, and check which time the next bus is. 7;20, it says. That gives me ten minutes. I cross the road and walk into the supermarket. I buy two blocks of chocolate and some 'jubes'. Stupid name, but they taste damn good. I return to the bus stop, and check my phone for the time. It's been five minutes, and I have some more time, so I open my chocolate and eat some.

The sweet taste of chocolate isn't the same when you feel nothing. I sigh, and put the food back in my pocket. No use wasting it. I see the bus coming, and ready my myki. The doors open with their weird hissing noise, and I make my legs step up onto the bus. I sit down after tapping on, and my eyes stare blankly out the window. I know they are glazed over; I can tell. A sense of.. mindlessness sweeps over my body, making it so that my only conscience is in my head, where as my body feels like someone else's.

As for who's, I am not sure, but I know one thing- I am no longer needed in this world. I feel numb, and have no purpose. Is this death? If it is I may as well kill myself.. I don't feel much. Not emotion, at least. I wonder.. if I do kill myself will this be death? Will it be the same? If it is.. I'm not sure.

I don't hate this way of living, except that it's just.. nothing. At all. It's blank.. and everything seems absent.. I feel empty headed. I'm oblivious to.. everything. From the outside I'm probably inscrutable..

Is this my stop? My body thinks so, as it gets up, taps off and starts to walk down the hill. I wonder what it's like to be...not like this. My body says sometimes that this hill's meant to hurt your legs, but I don't feel a thing. I feel.. nothing at all. Am I here? Where am I? Where am I going? Who is I? What was the person like before they dissolved into.. nothing. How did they think? Did they have talent? Did they eat? Were they human? What is a human anyway? Just an animal, really. Possibly more cruel, loving and literate than some animals, but still just an animal.

I'm alone on this hill. I'm not alone. There are trees, blades of grass. The hill. They're all things. I've never been alone. My mind is alone. Nothing leaks in or out of it. My head looks up. I don't know why. My eyes send the message of darkness to me. To my brain.

It is dark.

What does the darkness think of humans? Humans are cruel to the darkness. They try to get rid of it, with fire, and electric things.. I don't know why. I don't see the point. My body crosses a road, and sees it's destination. I don't know why. My body thinks "We're here!", but we keep walking. Nothing makes sense. My feet are annoyed; they're getting wet from the grass, but they keep going. Stupid things. They walk down stairs, then down more. No humans are around. My body walks inside a room, up a hallway, and into another room.

A different human hangs from the roof. My body drops to it's knees; as it seems to recognize the body. I don't know who it is. I don't know anyone, really. A tear soaks into the carpet, straight from my body's eye. Humans are weird. My body is shaking, and just stays there. Where next? What is my body doing here? My body drags itself to it's feet, and staggers over to a shelf, where it grabs a pen, and paper. It scribbles some stuff down, and stumbles back to the body, where my body looks inside a bag at the other body's feet. My body apparently gets what it's looking for; a coil of rope, and steps onto a chair, where it ties rope to the ceiling. It makes a noose, and I wonder what it is doing. Why am I here? What was my body's plan?

It puts it's head through the noose, tightens said noose, and kicks away the chair. I feel my body fight for breathe, then go still. What now? Is it dead? May I leave?

Soon enough, I find I can move, but not move my body. I float upward, and away from a body that is now lifeless and dangling from the roof. It's not mine anymore. Where do I go? What do I do? I fly upwards, and through the roof. I keep going until I reach the clouds. I see, far above, a gateway, to... I'm not sure. I guess I'll find out? Well, um.. not yolo!

It is dark as I leave earth.