Dear Future,
It is with great pride that I tell you I am alive as I write this. The world is a very big place and it can be scary sometimes. Today is the 21st of January, 2020. It's a snowy day and there's a lot of wind. I had to take great care of my kids and their individual issues at work. There is a small part of me that wishes I could have shown you how what goes into a workday. I get up in the morning and I right away get my teeth brushed, get showered, get coffee, and get driving. I skip breakfast a lot and I regret it moments after I get to work but, what can I complain about?
I really tried my best today to make sure I was comfortable with everything I was doing today but, like most days, there were a few moments where I let my anger seep into my exterior. One time, one of my children began wailing for a long period of time for no particular reason other than their tiredness. I really lost my patience, I was hungry, I was busy, and I didn't have the mental space for this small precious young kid. I knew I was being unreasonable and so I said as much to my coworker when I leaned down to attend to them. It's a lot to deal with and while I would love to keep all my kids happy at all times, it simply isn't possible some times.
I was thinking about religion this morning. As you may or may not be aware, I am not a strong believer in any particular religion. I believe there might be something bigger out there but I also see no reason to believe one religion over the others when it all seems so culturally based. I really support many of the teachings of the New Testament and of the Buddist Eight-Fold Path but just as much as I support them I find their emphasis on spirituality just feels empty. You should always be able to ask "Why?" of something and get a coherent answer eventually. If you are unable to, why should you be held to believing it? I am of that mind when I consider religion.
I rolled the dice on google for numbers between 1 and 26 as usual (I say, having done it for only the third time). I got 26 which reads, "There is no 26, roll again." When I rolled again I got 5, "Sort out your Trunks for 20 minutes." 20 minutes isn't a whole lot of time but I went to work shortly after doing the dishes to complete that task. I found it rather interesting to see some of the things in the Trunks and some of the things I had kept. In one of my Trunks, I have a special bin that contains many special things to me like lost teeth, cards, old pictures, baby pictures, graduation pictures, and so many more.
I also found things that weren't quite so important to me. I found old Christian instruction manuals which seemed to me to be material intended to indoctrinate someone to further follow a Christan Path with little actual application to the real world. I found old pictures and cards I had made when I was younger that were pretty poorly made. I didn't really like them and, while it might be considered a mistake later, I threw them out. I don't reminisce like that and I don't feel like those old drawings really reflect at all the type of upbringing I had other than their chaotic and sporadic nature. I did keep some, some that showed Mr. Frog and certain other characters I had come up with when I was growing up.
I used to tell stories when I was growing up. I told a lot of stories and they didn't always make sense and they didn't have to. These stories were about entertaining my brothers and keeping my mind busy when it didn't want to focus on the things that were going around me. I told a story of a swarm of bees that chased Bear Grylls through an Old Time Western Town and caused quite a ruckus. I told a story about a baby whose mom got him a bunch of licenses to do things and magically that made him able to do those things, it quickly went to horror territory. I told a story of foxes and bears being the confederate and union soldiers respectively. I guess I must have told many more but I simply don't remember them well.
I hope you like stories. I plan to tell you a lot of them. Hannah sometimes says that she knows when I'm lying and I suppose she sometimes does. I suppose storytelling is a sort of lying. It's someone telling a story (fib) about a fictional life that everyone knows is a lie. So when you can tell someone else is lying, does that make whatever they're lying about just a story? I guess that's just something I'll have to decide on.
I hope you like deep discussions. I really like talking for a long time about a lot things and I hope you do too. My Dad only cared to listen to my grand idea for a motion picture, something I had been building in my mind, for about fifteen minutes before falling asleep. It was rough to accept that one of the few times he actually inquired about what I thought about things he couldn't stay awake for even a short while to discuss it. I hope I'm different than that.
I hope you're always curious. I can only imagine your bug-eyed stare through a microscope lens and giggle as you learn something new. I hope you always learn something new. You'll be so good at it. You're going to be spectacular because you will be. Sometimes I think that'll enough. I love the idea of holding you by the way. Telling you how much I love you and how you have to experience. It could be so amazing and I hope it is. I guess we will only have to wait and see.
Love, Me
