Fear and Delight (Alastor x Reader)

Chapter 21

You stared at Charlie across her desk, tapping your fingers as she stared at you. "So, he tried to go with you and Angel and you transformed," she asked. You nodded slowly, staring down at your fingers before you made eye contact with her.

"I got angry. I didn't want him with us and he was pressing. Like he always does and always did," you replied. You slid a claw across your thumb, flinching and quickly putting it in your mouth. "He loved me in a twisted way. And he was the only one that did. Now it's just an obsession."

"Do you think it's maybe because you two have history," she hummed out. You stared at her, hatred seeping into your chest and your next words.

"I will never love him and now I know I never did. I know what love feels like and it's not for that man," you hissed. She blinked at you quickly, sitting back as you took a deep breath. You covered your face and the shaking started as your eyes teared up.

"Is there, maybe, something going on? You weren't like this last time we talked," she walked around her desk, placing a hand on your back.

"Charlie, how did you know you loved Vaggie," you asked. She stared, blushing brightly as she tapped her chin.

"When I felt like I needed her to breathe," she replied. You nodded, giving a small and defeated laugh.

"If you couldn't have her what would you do," you rubbed your eyes, flinching from the makeup that smeared with it. She knelt, holding your hands and smiling sadly.

"What's all this about? I'm normally the one who has to pull teeth and ask questions," she hummed. She was right. You were talking a lot at this session. It was just spilling out of you now, something propelling you to be open.

"I'm scared I'm going to be broken into even smaller pieces. I don't want anyone else but he won't want me. What I want is gross and despicable," you hiccuped. Charlie stared for a moment before hugging you tightly, rubbing your back.

"Things happen, (Y/N)," she whispered. "You won't break. You'll grow stronger and it'll be a learning experience. You'll be so much better when the pain ends." You just nodded, hugging onto her while keeping your eyes away from her suit. She helped you clean your face when you were done, smiling softly and patting your head. "Everything will be okay."

You nodded and slowly dragged yourself from her office, rubbing your head as the headache of crying engulfed you. An arm was over your shoulder and you flinched, looking up to see James with a distorted grin on his face.

"Hello there," he sang. He leaned down and kissed your cheek, pulling you close even as your tails whipped against his back. "You seem a bit distress- ugh." You jumped when he was moved, Alastor glaring at him with a malicious smile.

"My boy, it seems you don't know when to take a hint," he chuckled. The familiar symbols appeared about him, dancing and vibrating in the air as the static screeched. "Shall I teach you?" You stared up at him and gently grabbed his sleeve as James glared in a half attempt to not look scared. Alastor stared at you and then relaxed a bit, sighing as he waved his hand. "Do you know how you died, James my boy?"

"Yeah, a curse came true," he nodded.

"Curse? Oh no, my boy," Alastor grinned wickedly, taking your hand and moving you behind him as his head tilted to the side. "It was no curse! In fact! You could say I played a role in it!" James' eyes widened and your hand was squeezed. "Do you know how I got up there? In that little shamble of a gathering place?"

James stared, hesitating as he nodded, "Yeah-yes." Alastor's eyes narrowed and his grin split his face in two. You were moved to under his arm, his grip tight.

"My love here can tell you," he laughed out. "You see, we made a deal that day and now here she is! Living under the same roof as her dog and her knight!" James stared at you for a long moment, a confused frown adorning his face. Your heart was pounding in your chest; from Alastor's choice of words or the anxiety of James learning the truth if he didn't know it.

"What's he talking about," he asked.

You shook, pulling on Alastor's coat when the shaking reached your shoulders, "Al, please no."

"She summoned me. I watched, James my fellow. I watched and I found myself quite starved," Alastor growled. James glanced at Alastor, double-taking as Alastor shifted into his more demonic form. "But a meal is to be shared with a lady, you know. It's rude not to offer. So as the deal went, I helped with the hallucinations, the portals to hell that spawned and her?" You were pointed at, Charlie coming out of her office to the small show and her eyes widening. "She was to eat the hearts of those we preyed upon.

"Yours was her first and the joy she felt made her devour it whole."

James' eyes widened as he stared at you, anger coming to his face quickly after the shock dissipated, "What did I ever do to you?" People saw this confrontation first thing as they filed down the stairs, all eyes on Alastor and James as you were too small against Alastor to be seen.

"What a dumb question. You manipulated her into what you wanted. That's what you did to her. My, my, I figured you smarter since you got away from me last time but it seems you're just as much an idiot as when I first saw you."

You held your breath, jumping between the two quickly. They stumbled back, James into the wall and Alastor catching himself. You were hissing out, your ears moving back as you growled at the two, "Stop it. You're making things worse. Both of you."