STYROFOAM [jaeyong]

[abyss]

**trigger warning : mentions of r*pe (not very descriptive) & substance abuse.

[ABYSS]

"Lost, I lost, I lost. I lost, I lost.
Lost my mind, trapped in me. I don't know what's happening. I've been space traveling, trying to find some inner peace, inner peace. Welcome to my abyss filled with sins and trifiling. Fake friends, I hate them. Delete them all, erase them. I'm getting lost in my abyss. Trials, stipulations and suffering. Mayhem will break them, words from the evil faces. Drugs will fade them. Pop three, I laced them. Welcome to my abyss. Pain and suffering."

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

HIS eyes burned and his vision swayed, deep brown irises reflecting lights that faded in and out, pupils dilated. The pink haired felt so content and warm—happy, even. There was no disruption of the calming buzz in his head, the only thing making him feel slightly elated was the influx of alcohol in his system. His heart felt so much lighter and there was this bubbly feeling in the pit of his stomach tickling his insides. The bass of the music drummed throughout his body, feeling like a lullaby instead of something meant to hype him up. There was a chair next to him and he thought he might knock it over if he didn't sit down and try to rest.

When Ten came back home at seven, he told him to take a couple of 'these pills', to 'help with his anxiety'. Taeyong had only been at his house for a couple days and had a few panic attacks in the guest room, resulting in him destroying a few things. He told Ten he'd pay him back once he found an apartment, but the shorter told him it was fine as long as he didn't lock himself in that room again.

So he didn't, and Ten granted that as an opportunity to get him drunk and high as fuck before the night ended. He could sense the fuzzy fog engulf his brain and smell the faint metallic odor of alcohol linger on his long sleeve undershirt. It didn't feel bad at all, though. He felt lethargic and lightheaded, but it was better than feeling like a waste of a human being.

When Ten mentioned throwing a party tonight, Taeyong didn't refute. It's only been a few days since the last time Taeyong went partying, but he found himself missing it already. It made alcohol seem more appealing and distracted all the negative things he'd feel when drinking—he didn't have time to feel them.

He was constantly suffocated by hot bodies and the rush of heavy music. Taeyong couldn't be sad in front of people, so instead he was talkative and humorous. This way he was constantly preoccupied to isolate himself and ignore the euphoria that came with highs and good songs.

Unfortunately, that made him a lot more vulnerable and unknowingly consensual towards things.

Ten and who he had introduced as Jungwoo were talking his ear off about any topic that suddenly popped up at the top of their heads. Taeyong tried not to participate and just hummed along to anything the pair said, sipping on whatever was in the plastic cup that a guy offered him earlier.