city lights // jannyew

three

Yew's face heats up, pouting. "I'm not interested in her, Janne. What gave you that impression?"

"I saw you guys talking at the bar," Janne points out. "I'm not dumb."

"Well, what if I told you I'm not all that interested in her?" Yew states matter-of-factly. Then he blushes, shying away as he glances into a random direction. "I mean... in that way. Romantically. I'm actually, um... you know, I don't have time for girls."

"But you'll make time for boys?" Janne teases. "Yew, listen. Remember what you told me the other night? About uh... my gender and shit?"

Yew nods. Janne continues. "I don't care if you like guys, girls, or nobody — you're my friend. And as my friend, I expect you to come and watch my tournament this Friday." He pats Yew's shoulder, the boy's heart rate increasing at Janne's touch. There he goes again, about his fencing contest. Yew nods slowly, but internally he just wants to seclude himself back in his dorm and curl up with his new textbook.

"I'll be there, Janne. Just for you." Yew begins to regret opening his mouth.

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It's nearing Friday, and Yew can barely pay attention in his class. He loves the lesson, he's good with the professor and the new textbooks are making this class better to understand. It's just... he can't focus. His mind races from one direction to the next, and it's all a big jumbled mess of "what if" questions; what if Janne is going to hurt someone at the tournament? What if Janne is using Yew for something? What if Janne—

"Yew. YEW!" The professor shouts, her voice shrill, worse than nails on a chalkboard. Yew whips his head up, blushing. "Did you listen to a word I said?" the professor demands, tapping her foot. Some of the students turn their heads, some smirking, others glaring. Yew hates having so many eyes on him, when it should be just Janne having his eyes on him... No, no! Not right now!

"I'm sorry, madam," Yew apologises, hanging his head low. "I was lost in my thoughts."

"Well, those thoughts are not as important as the exam this Friday," the professor scolds. "Pop quiz for everyone!" The students in the class save for Yew groan, some muttering a 'thanks a lot, nerd!' and 'teacher's pet' before opening their textbooks. Yew sighs, frowning and shaking his head. The teacher passes out some papers, and as Yew is handed his, he reads over the questions and furrows his eyebrows.

"Madam? This isn't something we've learned yet," Yew points out. The teacher ignores him and continues passing out work. Yew shouldn't even be here right now. Sure, he enjoys class but not when the teacher humiliates him, the class wants him dead and Janne won't leave his thoughts alone.

Instead of doing the paper as told, Yew opens his diary and flips to a spare page. He sighs, picks up his pencil and begins to create a messy sketch. Once he cleans the sketch up, he works on drawing some long pretty hair, cute eyes, a warm smile and... Yew sets his pencil down. Crystals, he's infatuated. Yew made a promise he wants to break, but he can't. He doesn't have the heart to let Janne down. Someone like Janne who's gone through so much misfortune, it's led him down a dark path of depression. Janne does a pretty good job hiding his true feelings, even when he smiled at Yew the other day.

His smile... it makes Yew's heart flutter.

He shakes his head quickly, closing his diary. He can't think of Janne right now. Not when there's a quiz of all things. Yew picks his pencil up again, struggling to focus. Sure, he's learned a ton of things about maths and angles and whatnot, but this is something out of his territory of knowledge. It's something related to calculus, something Yew has heard of but has never learned in class.