Business Partners • Nygmobblepot

Don't Bullshit Me, Cobblepot

In a city like Gotham, missing means most likely dead. Oswald Cobblepot is missing, and therefore everyone has collectively agreed on the fact that he's dead, despite assuring his mother that he will probably turn up if they give him a week or two. Which he won't.

Or at least that's what every officer at the GCPD is thinking until he walks into the building the Thursday after his supposed murder like he owns the place.

Well, "walks" is a bold choice of words. Limping would fit much better to what he's doing. There are far more important things to ask about than his walk, though.

Detective Jim Gordon notices the shocked, stunned silence just moments after it begins and looks up from his paperwork to see Oswald staring right back at him with a smug look on his face. Jim is, frankly, glad to be distracted from the files.

But not for this.

Kicking the chair back and practically storming down the stairs and up to him, he stands in front of Oswald quietly for a few seconds. This is because - and it's obvious to anyone watching - it's taking all he has not to punch the other man in the face in front of the entire police force. If Harvey wasn't on his break then he'd have done it himself.

And then he'd punch Jim too.

"Hello Jim," Oswald says cheerily, visibly enjoying the situation.

He glares.

"Old friend," he adds with a smile that looks more sarcastic than anything.

"Jim-" Captain Essen begins, taking a step forward. Her statement comes out of her mouth more like a question.

"I can handle this," Gordon replies with a smile faker than Cobblepot's. He grabs him by the wrist. "Excuse us for a second, if you don't mind."

---

After making sure the room is empty and no one will attempt to follow them in, Jim grabs him by the collar and pushes him up against a locker so aggressively that both were surprised it didn't make a dent.

"Why the hell are you here?!" he demands.

Oswald tries to keep his cool. "I came to apply for a job actually," he replies matter-of-factly, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Don't bullshit me, Cobblepot, why are you here?!"

"I'm telling the truth! I swear on my life! I-"

"Your life isn't even meant to be a thing anymore as far as Gotham was concerned! I told you not to return!"

"And I wasn't going to! I promise! I just... ran into some trouble and-"

And then Oswald does get punched. In the nose. Hard. Blood begins to drip from it almost immediately and he's not sure if his eyes are just watering or if it was actually painful enough for tears. He takes a deep breath and tries to clean it up with his sleeve, which doesn't work at all.

"I'm going to ask you one more time," Jim growls, "or the gun comes out for real. Why are you here?"

"I wouldn't lie to you, Jim. I want to work at the GCPD. Be trained. Learn your ways. Become a cop. Fight crime," he shrugs. "Take Fish Mooney down if the chance arises."

"You and your men are part of the crime we try to stop."

"Okay, ouch!" He laughs shakily. "I'm not even with them anymore. I dropped them."

"You lost contact with everyone you know to come and ask about a job here? I don't think so."

"Do we have to do this bit again?"

"I don't know. Do we?"

Oswald stumbles back, steering clear of Jim with his hands in the air half-jokingly. He lowers himself down onto a bench and looks back up at him. "I have nowhere to go. After you let me leave, I realised how much I really love being here. How I need to be here. Gotham is my home. And I'll do whatever it takes to stay here. If you had shot me, I wouldn't even be here right now. And this," he points to his still bleeding nose, "wouldn't be anything to worry about."

"So we're guilt tripping now? That's new." Jim makes direct eye contact with him, and somehow makes it look threatening. "You know, I could have you arrested right now and nobody here would bat an eye."

"Arrest me for what, exactly?"

Oswald takes in mind that in less than seven days he's slit two people's throats, kidnapped someone and then killed him shortly after, stabbed someone to death, and maybe a couple more things because he hasn't been keeping proper count. But Jim doesn't need to know that.

"Fish Mooney wanted you dead."

"Fish wants a lot of things, if you haven't noticed."

The two of them sigh at the same time, in two different tones. Jim's sigh is frustrated, and Oswald's just sounds tired.

"Jim, just listen, please. Give me a chance. I don't have to be a cop-"

"Damn right you don't," he mutters.

"- but I- I could join you as a... a student or something. Just... think about it. Please?"

After an eye roll, Jim comes out with a sarcastic "okay, I'll think about it" with another fake smile.

Oswald notices this but doesn't say anything, because he doesn't want to be punched again. For no reason, at that. Or at least that's what he thinks.

"Thank you," he half-whispers, with what looks like a genuine smile on his face. "I'll let myself out."

"Yeah, nice try."

---

Author's Note:

I have 3 things to say!

1. I came up with this maybe eighteen hours ago and I already have a playlist and some things I wanna include but I, however, don't have a PLOT!! And I suck at not making that obvious. Please forgive me if some things just don't make sense at all, I'm trying to get in character for each of the people I'm writing but it's hard sometimes.

2. If you have any plot ideas please comment them because I have a 60% chance of using them depending on how it works with the (lack of) plot and my (lack of) writing skill.

And 3. If you were wondering, yes the chapter title is a reference to Captain America: Civil War