Chasing Fire (Completed)

Chapter 38

"How dare you step into this house!" Galit na galit niyang sinabi habang papalapit sa akin.

I almost step back. Agad na napahinto ang mga maid sa kanilang ginagawa at mabilis na umalis doon.

"Why? Am I not allowed here anymore? I'm your daughter Mom!" I reminded her.

Dahil baka sakaling nalimutan niya lang na anak niya ako. Baka sakaling nakalimot lang siya kaya't pinapaalala ko.

"I never treated you as my daughter!" She said while pointing at me.

At para akong sinasaksak ng mga salitang binitawan niya. Sobrang sakit. I just want her to love me. Is that so hard to do?

"Bakit ba ayaw na ayaw niyo sa akin?! Just because I won't marry that Lex, ginaganito niyo na ako? Just because of your damn company, you'll choose to loose your daughter instead?"

"I already did! I lost Val because of your selfishness! I lost my daughter because of you! It should be you and not my daughter!" She cried and sat on the couch as she wiped her tears using the back of her hand.

I remained standing as I my mother cry in pain in front of me. Mas lalo lang akong nasasaktan. I have never seen her this weak. And I can't help but to be jealous of Valentina. I have Marco. But she have all of my parents' love.

"I'm your daughter too, Mom." Nanghihina kong sinabi.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin. Hatred is evident on her eyes.

"You're not my daughter! I never treated you as one! You know why I hate you so much? Huh? I was raped by your godamn father! I never wanted you! I'm disgusted with the both of you! Sana tinuloy ko nalang ang pag abort sa'yo! You're so useless!"

Umawang ang labi ko. My father did what?

"Then bakit si Val? Why do you love Val so much and not me?"

Ang sakit sakit. Sobrang sakit na ng nararamdaman ko na hindi ko na alam ano ang mararamdaman sa nalaman mula sa kanya.

I am unwanted. Noon palang ay ayaw niya na sa akin. Because Daddy raped her. They're married but I know when a sexual intercourse is forced, it's still considered as rape.

And she tried to abort me. Does she hate me that much?

"All my life, I protected her. Inilayo ko siya dito dahil alam kong dadating ang panahon na maniningil ang mga sindikato sa Daddy mo! Utang ang lahat ng pera na itinayo niya sa kompanya. And now Val was kidnapped dahil hindi mo pinakasalan si Lex! They're the only one who's willing to pay for your father's debts! You're so useless!"

"Then bakit hindi mo rin ako prinotektahan? Just because I'm unwanted? Just because you hate Daddy? Hindi ko piniling maging bunga ng ginawa ni Dad, Mom. I never wanted to be unwanted. I loved you so much, Mom. Can't you please do the same?" Halos magmakaawa na ako sa kanya.

Mommy cried so much because of what I said. Lumapit ako sa kanya and kneeled in front of her as she sat on the couch. I held his hands and she let me hold her like that.

"I was so blinded by my anger towards your father. Halos ayaw kong makita ka when I gave birth to you."

"I know you love me." Pilit ko. "Because why did you stayed with me, why did you cared for me for eight years if you don't?"

Napatingin siya sa akin. Halos hindi ko na alam ang ekpresyon niya. My eyes were blurry because of so much tears.

"I don't! I just did that because of nothing! Now I hate you more! Ikaw dapat yung na kidnap at hindi si Val! I don't know what to do anymore, Vien. The syndicates are asking for ransom at hindi yon mabibigay ng Daddy mo!" Hagulhol niyang muli.

"Kung ako ba yung na kidnap, will you be this worried? Dahil kung ganoon, I'll willingly go with them, Mom."

I wiped my own tears at halos mahimatay na ako sa sobrang pag-iyak. This is more painful than a heart break.

"Vien..." She called pleadingly, hindi pinansin ang sinabi ko.

And she never called me that way. It was a call full of need. Like she's calling for my help, like she wants my help.

"Please. Please help me..." She cried as she held my hand.

Hindi ako nagsalita at patuloy lang na umiyak. For the first time, I felt her need. I feel wanted.

"Please marry Lex for me. Wala ng ibang paraan, anak. They will help us if you just marry Lex. I can't afford to loose your sister. Please, Vien... I'm begging you. I know I am asking too much but please, nagmamakaawa ako." Parang dinudurog ang puso ko sa sinasabi at pagmamakaawa niya. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hating you. I know I don't deserve your help, I dont even deserve your love. But just this time anak. Babawi ako, I promise." Sabi niya habang sobrang higpit na hinawakan ang mga kamay ko na mas lalo pang nagpaiyak sa akin.

My whole body trembled. My heart broke. And my tears fell as I nodded and said yes to my mom's bidding.