If You Only Knew

Chapter Twenty Three

I told Josh all about the incident with Raven. We decided that it was best if we took some time off from seeing each other in order to get Raven off our trail. We decided upon two weeks, which was the longest two weeks of my life. Even though we still texted every day and talked on the phone whenever Raven was out, it was still hard. I missed him and the cute way he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. I wanted more than ever to just give him a big hug and never let go. Thankfully I would be able to do that tonight, since we were having dinner at his place. As I was getting ready, I noticed Raven come up and stand in the doorway to my bedroom. I had barely said anything to her the last two weeks. I felt terrible, but it was the only way I knew how to get her to stop prying about my relationship.

“Hey,” she said. “Can we talk?”

“Umm, yeah I guess.” I said.

“Look, I’m really sorry about the whole phone thing. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal and I didn’t know it would upset you so much. I truly am sorry.”

I knew she was being sincere and it made me feel even worse about what I said next.

“I appreciate the apology but it doesn’t change what you did.”

I hated being mean to her like this but it had to be done. It was the only way.

“Look, I know I’m a screw up Bella, okay, I know that I do things I shouldn’t and that I’m nosey sometimes, but it’s who I am and no matter how hard I try, I can’t change that!” she said, bursting into tears.

I was the worst best friend ever. I just made her cry. God, I had to fix this now. I took it way too far.

“No, Raven, don’t cry! I’m sorry for being mean, I was just trying to get a point across!”

“It’s okay, I probably would have done the same to you,” she admitted. “I promise I won’t snoop or pry about your relationship anymore Bella.”

I didn’t want to lie to her after everything that just happened, but I had to.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore Ray, I’m not seeing him anymore.”

“Oh Bella I’m so sorry! It wasn’t because of me, was it!?” she asked, worried she caused it.

‘No, of course not Ray, it just wasn’t working out in the end.”

“I’m sorry Bella. You will find someone someday and you will live happily ever after!”

We both had a little laugh at that. She always did know how to make a situation better.

“Well, I’m going to meet an old friend at the movies so I have to go and probably won’t be back until later, you going to be okay here by yourself?” I asked.

“Of course, have fun!”

I was full of guilt as I walked out the front door. I had just lied to my best friend countless times in order to keep a secret from her that if she ever found out, would devastate her. I should officially be given the “worst friend of the year” award. The whole way to Josh’s I kept telling myself it was for her own good, hoping that it would eventually sink in.