A Shot in the Shadows

Pulling Together

Rehearsal is in full swing when they make their way back up to the stage. The teenagers are in the middle of their dance number, the adults are lulling around the wings, generally not doing anything. Hayley abandons Annie to go find her own friends while she searches for somewhere to sit.

Morgan is on as Nikki this time: Hayley's only seen Morgan do Nikki two other times, and it's always interesting, because Morgan has a completely different take on the character that Hayley actually really likes.

Mr. Harding lets Morgan run through act one before putting Hayley in. Annie's back in the action to, passing Hayley on the way to their places and whispering, "I can't count the number of times the understudies have actually done a full rehearsal."

Hayley laughs, finding her mark and looking out into the empty audience. The house lights are up, all of the primary stage lights are being used (Mr. Harding was finally convinced by the lighting crew to take things easy for a while), and almost all of the props are in place.

It's a lot different from what it'll be like during the actual performance, and it suddenly hits Hayley that in less than three weeks they'll be performing the show in front of an actual audience. No more parents or any of the theater teachers or staff: an actual paying audience, with all sorts of people in it, Hayley's teachers, her extended family, neighbors, reviewers.

Hayley's always been the kind of child that seems strong, but then has these moments where everything falls apart. Two days before opening as Brigitta a few years ago, Hayley's nerves had finally caught up to her and she'd had a full-blown breakdown in the middle of dress rehearsal, standing petrified and unresponsive to Maria or any of the other characters until she's swooned and passed out.

Hayley thinks she feels one of those attacks coming on. The scene's already started: Annie's said her line to Adrianna (who's trying out one of the teen ensemble roles). What Hayley should be doing is striding out onto the stage, saying something to Annie that Adrianna's character can't hear.

She doesn't move.

"Hayley?"

Mr. Harding's calling for her: that should definitely be Hayley's cue to move, but somehow the words file themselves right into the back of her brain.

"Adrianna, what's Hayley doing?"

Hayley sits down hard, probably bruising her tailbone. Hayley hears familiar voices, her friends, talking urgently in the background.

"Um, she's on the ground. Mr. Harding, I think she's shaking."

"Mrs. West! Where'd she go? Mrs. West!"

Hayley's being picked up by someone warm, and Hayley nestles into the person as she's carried off the stage. She's shaking inside, because all Hayley can think is that she doesn't know her blocking and she doesn't know how the lighting's supposed to play out and how her sound's gonna be and how she's gonna pull off all her quick changes and it all suddenly feels like too much. The someone sits down on the floor, readjusting Hayley until her head's in her lap.

Hayley knows now that she's not having a panic attack. She's just worried about everything because it's only just hit her that they're going to be performing the show in about two weeks, and that they're on such an unorganized schedule that it seems that they'll need a miracle to get everything together on time.

"Are you okay?"

It's Adrianna, holding her and sounding worried. Hayley barely knows Adrianna, but the woman seems plenty concerned for a stranger. For some reason that makes Hayley smile, and she opens her eyes to peek at Adrianna.

"I'm okay," Hayley says, eyes flicking up at Mr. Harding. "Really. I just got really dizzy for a moment there."

Mr. Harding considers the excuse, then takes it. "Okay," he says slowly. "Okay. You're benched."

Hayley isn't into sports, but she knows enough to start opening her mouth to complain.

"You're tired," Mr. Harding continues. "We're all tired. But I do realize that I'm pushing you kids a bit harder than I should be. Take it easy today. Morgan, up you go. Addie, you too."

Hayley feels Adrianna shift uncertainly, seeing her eyes scanning the room. "Lara!" she calls. "Help me watch Hayley!"

Hayley hears a muffled protest, but she's being forced to lift her head and rest it on Lara instead, who's a whole lot stiffer than Adrianna was.

Lara waits until everyone is immersed in the show again before leaning over to whisper in Hayley's ear.

"Panic attack?" Lara asks.

Hayley blinks up at Lara, cheeks tinting pink.

"Maybe," she answers.

Lara smiles. "It'll be fine," she says. "I used to get them too."

"But you're so good," Hayley says.

"Well... so are you," Lara says, poking Hayley on the nose.

Hayley giggles and squirms away, thinking that maybe, just maybe, with a company as supportive and wonderful as the one she has, maybe things will turn out fine after all.

In two months I'm gonna come back and rename half of these chapters.

How was it? We're getting there, I promise. Pinky promise :) And next week is Thanksgiving so my goal is to just churn out words :):)

Thanks for all the reads and votes! :)