"why are you all up on me" you laughed looking up at mattia as he looked down at you with his arms wrapped tightly around your body. he smiled lightly before placing a kiss on your forehead softly.
"because I miss you" he mumbled laying his head on top of yours and closing his eyes. his chest pressed up against yours allowing you to feel his heart beating through his thin nike hoodie. you rolled your eyes to yourself at his actions.
"can I at least sit on the bed? my feet hurt" you said poking his side making him let go of you slowly. he let his eyes dance around your face before placing his hand at the bottom of your chin pulling your face up softly to look at him. he smiled to himself before leaning down to kiss you on your lips for exactly a second before leaning down again to place another on the corner of your lips. "I haven't seen you in like a week" he said letting you out of his grasp only to follow you onto his bed. you took your phone out scrolling through Instagram as you laid your head on one of his pillow's that reeked of his addicting scent.
"yeah I've been kind of busy" you sigh not bothering to take your eyes off of your screen. his eyebrows furrowed at the lack of attention he was receiving which he had grown used to. "busy doing what?" he asked sitting up on his elbow looking down at you. his other hand rested on your waist rubbing slow circles onto it.
"nothing important" he stopped his movements before biting his lip softly. he grabbed your phone out of your hands only to toss it on his nightstand. he grabbed your shoulders turning them so that you were looking straight at the ceiling with your back against the bed. "whats wrong"
"nothing" you mumbled knowing he wouldn't take that for an answer. it was nothing he could directly do to stop you from feeling the way you felt about what you had been doing in life. "do not start that shit y/n, what is wrong"
shaking your head you pursed your lips before closing your eyes so you wouldn't see mattia in your vision at all. "how are we supposed to fix anything if you don't want to communicate with me? I thought we talked about how we can trust each other and how we can tell each other everything but this isn't whats happening now, why do you-"
" we cant do this anymore" you blurted out stopping mattia's sentence causing the room to be fed with thick tension. "what?" mattia questioned still looking down at you.his heart sunk to the bottom of his stomach with Every moment of silence.
" I cant do this with you" you said, eyes still closed. "do what?" he asked. "kiss you, hug you, miss you, I just cant do it" he scoffed waiting for you to open your eyes."this was your idea"
"no it was your idea, I just went along with it because id do anything to keep you by my side, id do anything for you to look at me as more than just a friend, id do anything for us." he ran his hand over his face as you spoke. somehow he knew this would happen and yet he still went forth with it.
"so what are you saying. we cant be friends anymore?" he asked watching as your eyes fluttered open. you shook you head at the fact that he didn't sound effected at the fact that he was literally breaking your heart with every kiss, every hug, every laugh, every touch. "friends don't kiss like we do" you mumbled
" I think I love you" you said after noticing he wasn't going to respond. " y/n.." he trailed off with wide eyes. your eyes begain to water feeling all the emotions you had began to find its way out your mouth and to the boy you adored. " I don't care what you say. I think I love you and it isn't safe for me to continue to do these things with you when everytime I do I fall for you more and more"
he shook his head at nothing specific , sitting up on his bed while staring at the wall. "can you say something, anything" you whispered out looking at the back of his head. you felt your heart sink more and more at his silence.
"if that's what you want" he finally spoke. you furrowed your eyebrows before sitting up. "that's all your gonna say?" you questioned not expecting that answer. somewhere deep in your psyche you believed he would feel the same way, you guys would have a happy ending and somehow someway end up together but instead you get this?
"what do you want me to say y/n?! I told you what I wanted and a relationship isn't that" he said raising his voice slightly. your eyes watered again before your sadness began to replace itself with rage. "you know what? I'll see you in class tomorrow asshole" you said walking out of the doors you just came in not even an hour ago. mattia sighed loudly rubbing his hands over his face when hearing the front door shut knowing it was you.
"fuck" he yelled looking up at the ceiling. why did his life had to be so complicated?
