Past doesn't matter (Levi x OC x Erwin) AU/modern +18

Chapter 31: New facetes of an Ackerman Pt 3

"Erwin! Please stop!" I finally found the strength to think rational again and with the hand, I'd held onto his hair, I took a fistful of his mane and yanked his head back from me.

"For god's sake, stop it! We can't let that escalate! What got into you?!" I scolded him, my anger taking and fear alike over now. We're fucking close to do it. In his car!!! Not to mention that we're not far away from my home. What would've happened if Levi came by and he'd seen us?! I don't even want to think about it.

I hastily crawled down from his lap, removing his hands from me as I struggled to sit down on my side again. I heard Erwin cursing under his nose and when I looked at him again, he had his face buried in his hands, his jaw working hard and he clenched his teeth. We needed a moment to calm our heated moods down.

"Erwin, what got into you? Are you crazy? What if L....what if someone had seen us? Someone who knows me? I'm close to my home, a few of my neighbors know Levi. If they would see me in here with you..."

"I know. You...you don't have to explain it. You're right. I am crazy. Crazy for you. I have such a great hunger, that I couldn't hold it back for just a moment, and then, it was too late. It consumed me, possessed me. I just don't know how to help me with it. Only your touch can put my inner beast on its leash again. I can feel it. With every moment I am denied your touch, your kiss, I feel it rattling on its cage. I...I just don't know how much longer I can resist."

He said, bitterness swinging with his voice like a melancholic song that would make every female cry without hesitation.

Sometimes, I hate myself for my almost endless kindness and patience, but I can't fight against my nature. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Erwin. Look at me. You can do it. I'm sure. If there's anyone on this goddamn planed who can control his emotions and desires, then it's you. Hold out, just for one more week, then everything will get so much clearer, okay? And besides: You promised me you will improve with your behavior, remember?"

The moment when our eyes locked, the sadness inside the blue sapphires that his eyes are, was enough to make me choke back a whimper. If Erwin's mental strength will weaken any more, I can't tell what will happen then.

His hand landed on top of mine in reassurance before he nodded, inhaling deeply before he straightened in his seat.

"I understand. I will hold out, and fight." He said with newly gained confidence, finally pushing the button to start the car's engine again to drive the last mile to my home.

The time we needed to get there made me realize once more what a terrible girlfriend I am. I don't dare to count how many times Erwin and I kissed until now, but it threatens to become a habit. I should be the responsible, the rational one here and keep Erwin at distance, tell him to calm down and keep his hands to himself, for fuck's sake!

But I cant...I am no longer master over my mind and body when he's with me. Now I remember why I stayed single for so long. Because love can make you do very, very stupid things can let you act like a total dumbass, can make you believe the one you love is your whole world and nothing else matters, and she can make you ignore all possible bad outcomes this connection might cause.

Love is shitty! Love brings out the worst and most stupid characteristics inside of me, but why does it feel so damn good?!

I didn't notice when Erwin stopped the car before the building I was living in, nor did I notice how he called my name several times. Only when his hand shook me by my shoulder combined with his calls, I jerked up in shock.

"Honey, what's wrong? You were absent. Are you okay?"

I looked around a little flustered, checking where I am or if something happened before I decided to answer him.