barista / h.s

Epilogue

Anyways, that's besides the point. I really like you and I want to hang out more. You see me as more than a barista and I see you as more than just Harry Styles. You're sweet, funny, and to make it all better-- cute. I like you.

And maybe ill have the wits to show this to you to one day.

Maybe not.

Sincerely,
Sydney. ❤

There was another note attached, and Harry didn't really want to put himself through it. He was already a mess. If he was wearing makeup he'd look like a clown. But be read it anyway, and he barely made it through half of it without wanting to jump right into the water's depths.

Dear Harry,

Wow, it's your birthday. How old are you? 20? 21? I forget easily.

Remember that time we had panic attacks and Christmas and we spent the whole night in the emergency room by ourselves? I could safely say that was the best Christmas I've ever had. Because you were there.

Before I met you no one seemed to like me. They called me stupid and said that I needed to go back to school. Do you think they knew what was wrong with me? Do you think they cared?

Well you did. I have no idea why, though. I mean look at you. Every girl on this planet wants to date you. Your signature curls and unbelievable talent-- anyone could appreciate you more than I could. I'm not sure if its because I'm not capable or too lazy to care.

Anyways, I don't want you to go. I want to stay with you forever and grow old and have children to boss around all the time. Wouldn't that be cool? Sydney and Harry Jr sound original.

Never mind, Elise told me that was too tacky.

Harry laughed out loud, tears falling for heavily now. He could imagine her saying each and every word as if she were alive.

What if I could come with you on tour? Maybe we could travel the world together because I've always wanted to do that.

You're not gone and I miss you already. You look so peaceful sleeping, happy birthday harry!

Here's to 21 years of an angel being alive, and many more to come.

Thank goodness my birthday is in May because I don't think I can take being 18 much longer!

See you at the concert Harry.

Wow, I love you.

Okay, I'm done I promise.

Come to my birthday party?

How many people do you think will come to my party? 100? 200? A thousand?

Invite everyone you know!!!

I love you. Bye :)

Love,
Syd ❤

Harry gave up all attempts to hold the tears back. He rarely found himself crying, but this time he couldn't stop. Watching his salty tears drop into the river looked as if it were raining.

She was supposed to be 19 in a matter of weeks. She was supposed to have the perfect party.

Sydney was never used to attention and being cared for, and now it was too late.

In a distress, Harry decided to call her just for relief. Just to know that she was surely gone.

But his blood ran cold when he saw the messages.

Harry: Are you okay babe? Hope you enjoyed the concert.
Read 2/9/15 at 12:00 pm

And the chilliest part of it all was that it showed a bubble like someone was typing a message in that very moment. He waited and waited and waited for what seemed like ages, but no response.

And then it hit him.

He was the reason Sydney got in a crash. She was trying to respond to him and wasnt paying attention to the road.

He absolutely hated himself.

"Harry?" He heard Louis' faint voice call. "Harry, I know you're out here. Where are you?"

"Over here." He said, and was surprised by how croaked and strained his voice sounded. He rubbed his noise and watched Louis walk over from behind a bush.

"Are you alright?" Louis asked when he sat down, but it was obvious what the answer was.

"No, I'm not Lou." Harry leaned on his friend's shoulder. "She was texting and driving and it's all my fault!"

Louis tried to console him, wrapping his broad arms around Harry. "It'll be okay. She's in a better place now."

"That's what they all say." Harry spat. "They say that people are in a better place but how do you know that? Death could be a big black nothing for all we know!"

"Harry, don't think like that." Louis warned. "Don't you believe in God?"

"No." Harry said defiantly. "Because if there were a god, then he wouldn't make good people suffer."

Louis didnt say anything after that.

"Louis, I'm sorry." Harry apologized when he noticed his friend was hurt. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know, Harry." He sighed. "It's just that this is going to be hard at first, but it gets easier. I promise you."

"How do you know?"

"When my grandparents died, I was a mess. I felt how you feel now." Louis explained, wrapping his arms back around him. "But now it isn't as bad. Sometimes I think about them and get a little sad, but other than that I can say I'm okay. You'll be fine, Harry. I believe in you."

"Thanks, Louis." Harry sighed. "It's just hard, you know?"

The two nodded at the same time and watched the sun set over the river.

"We missed the burial." Louis finally said.

"I know." Harry whispered, and it was more or less a message to himself. "I don't think I would be able to handle it anyway. I've already said my goodbye."

Louis smiled. "That's great, Harry."

"And it feels like we're still connected. It's like I can hear her telling me to 'go on, and finish the tour'. She's telling me to press forward and save the mourning for later."

"Sydney was a smart girl." Louis said, and with that he stood up and walked out of sight. It was good to know Harry wasn't the only one who genuinely cared.

This definitely wasn't the closure he wanted, but it was something.

"To the girl who turned out to be more than my barista." Harry said to himself. "The girl who showed me you don't have to wait for love, that it comes naturally. And that I'm more than just Harry Styles. I'm Sydney Style's girlfriend."

He took both notes and carefully placed them on the surface of the water, watching them float and drift farther away from him.

"I have loved you since you were eighteen." He sang quietly and shut his eyes. "Long before we both thought the same thing; to be loved and to be in love."

He was not over Sydney just yet, and he never would be. But maybe Louis was right. Maybe it would get better.

Harry prayed it would, for his and Sydney's sake.

THE END.

• • • •

first I want to say thank you guys for reading this story! at first it was going to be a short story but then I got so attached and here we are at chapter 18 basically

OMFG 18 GET IT BC OMFG OMF PMFG

sorry

im crying goodbye

- alex (':