SELF BEATING AND MOURNING ARE NOT ALLOWED IN ISLAM. (way of life - Islamic book)

HADEETHS THAT CLAIM MOURNING AND SELF BEATING ARE HARAM.

(Note: 349. Sahih Muslim, 6/224, 225, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab al-bika' [?] 'ala'l-mayyit.)

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'Abdullah ibn 'Umar (raa) said:

Sa'd ibn 'Ubadah fell ill with some complaint that he suffered from, and Prophet Muhammad ( pbuh ) came to visit him, accompanied by 'Abd al-Rahman ibn 'Awf, Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas and 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud. When he entered and found him in a coma, he asked, 'Has he passed away?' They said, 'No, O Messenger of Allah.' The Messenger of Allah ( pbuh ) wept, and when the people saw him weeping, they wept too. He said, 'Are you not listening? Allah ( swt ) will not punish a man for the tears that fall from his eyes or for the grief that he feels in his heart, but He will either punish or have mercy on a man because of this,' and he pointed to his tongue."

(Note: 350. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 5/429, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab al-bika' 'ala al-mayit.)

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Anas ( raa ) said:

"The Messenger of Allah ( pbuh ) entered upon his son Ibrahim as he was surrendering his soul (i.e., dying). Tears began to well up in the Prophet's eyes. 'Abd al-Rahman ibn 'Awf said to him, 'Even you, O Messenger of Allah?' He said, 'O Ibn 'Awf, this is compassion.' Then he wept some more and said, 'The eyes shed tears, and the heart feels grief, but we say only what which will please our Lord. And truly we are deeply grieved by your departure, O Ibrahim.'"

(Note: 351. Reported by Bukhari and Muslim. See Riyad al-Salihin, 463, Kitab 'iyadah al-marid, bab jawaz al-bika' 'ala al-mayit bi ghayri nadab wa la niyahah.)

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Prophet Muhammad ( pbuh ) approved of expressing grief by letting the tears flow because people have no power to restrain tears at times of grief, but he forbade every deed that can inflame and exacerbate grief. Shedding tears, in moderation, can help to soothe the pain of grief, but wailing, eulogizing, screaming and other jahiliya actions only increase the anguish and make a person more prone to collapse. These actions are what the Arabs used to do at the time of jahiliyyah, when a person would even request it before his death, so that others would come and wail over the dead, enumerating his good qualities and exaggerating about the impact of this bereavement. An example of this is to be seen in the poetry of Tarafah ibn al-'Abd:

"When I die, mention my qualities as befits me, and rend your garments for me, O daughter of Ma'bad. Do not make me like a man whose aspirations are not my aspirations, who could not do what I could do, or play the role I play."

All of this is forbidden by Islam most emphatically because it is a waste of energy and contradicts the acceptance of Allah's will and decree; it also opens the way for the Shaytan to lead people astray and cause fitnah. Prophet Muhammad ( pbuh ) referred to this, in the hadith narrated by Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her), who said:

"When Abu Salamah died, I said, 'He is a stranger in a strange land. I shall certainly cry over him a such a way that people will talk about it.' I prepared myself to cry over him, but a woman who was coming from the high places of Madinah to help me (in crying and wailing) was met the Messenger of Allah ( pbuh ). He asked, 'Do you want to let the Shaytan enter a house from which Allah ( swt ) has expelled him twice?' So I stopped crying, and I did not cry."

The first time was when Abu Salamah surrendered his soul (died), and some of his family were grief-stricken. The Prophet (pbuh) told them, "Do not pray for anything but good for yourselves, for the angels are saying 'Amin' to whatever you say," then he prayed for Abu Salamah. The second time was when Umm Salamah started telling herself that she would exaggerate in her crying for him, then she changed her mind.