Hate Me, Love Me(GirlxGirl)

Chapter Seventeen: A Dark Tale from the Past

"My childhood wasn't all rainbows and unicorns," she began, her eyes narrowing as she quickly downed all of her beer. "You see, my mother - Dolores - has always been a jealous woman. My father saw it as being the love and compassion she had for him. He was blinded by love - still is - to not see how deranged his oh so beloved wife is. My father used to tell me stories of how they met; how in love they were. During their dating years and the few years they were married, Dolores has always been the only woman that held my father's heart. That is...until she fell pregnant. She desperately hoped for the baby to be a boy so she could continue being my father's only woman in his life. But when the doctor told her that the baby was actually a girl, shit hit the fan."

Kat laughed bitterly, shaking her head. "My father was ecstatic; he didn't care what gender the baby was as long as they were healthy and alive. Dolores hated me the moment she fully understood that she would never be the only woman. She has gone to the hospital during her last few months of pregnancy due to 'accidental' trips down the stairs. The woman was trying to kill me because it was too late for an abortion and she didn't want me to be born. An insane psycho, I swear! My father hardly had a clue since he was working most of the time, leaving Dolores to do god knows what. I was actually a premature birth and I had to stay in the hospital for a few months in a fucking box being surrounded by nurses and doctors while Dolores enjoyed having my father's attention again. Can you believe that? A woman so mentally deranged that she would harm her unborn child just to have her husband's love and attention only for her?" She slipped off the stool and began to pace back and forth in the kitchen.

I didn't know what to say. I was too stunned, letting myself only hear more of Kat's story. I watched the tattooed goddess running her hands through her hair, frustratingly, recalling her childhood and the purpose as to why she risks her life for her father. 

She glanced up at me for a brief moment before shaking her head, chuckling. "Don't worry, I was shocked too when I realized what a shitty person my mother was. I grew up thinking my mother was disappointed in me for something that I had done that I wasn't aware of. Imagine when I was told the real reason why she hated me. Fucked up, isn't it?" She chuckled again, stopping her pacing as she leaned back against the sink. "My father used to tell me that the day he brought me home, he never felt anything similar in that moment. The love for Dolores couldn't compare to the amount of love he had for me in that very moment. He would always wake up whenever he heard me cry. He would spend his time with me like any parent would with their newborn child. I think that was the moment Dolores loathed me even more. The amount of attention my father focused on me brought that green eyed monster to reawaken from inside of her. From the moment I could walk and talk perfectly, she began to abuse me without my father knowing.

It started off with a few slaps here and there sometimes a few kicks. I can sometimes feel Dolores's fingers gripping onto my hair when I was young. Each time I cried, I would be put inside of a closet and Dolores would begin to frighten me on how the devil is there with me, waiting for me to turn around and look in his eyes. This only occurred when my father was never home. From the moment he steps out of that front door, I was never safe. How could I feel safe in the very same house that lived the devil's mistress?" Kat looked down to the floor, not looking up anymore as she continued. "When I started kindergarten, Dolores told me not tell a living soul on what she has done to me or else she would take my father away from me. She knew how much my father meant to me. He was my safe haven. He kept her away from me and for that I was grateful. I couldn't let her take him away from me so I listened and obeyed. 

I think the teachers were beginning to realize that I was being abused each time I came to school with bruises around my wrists from the time she would grab my hands tightly and painfully spank me. I had to wear long sleeves to cover the bruises and lie through my teeth that I had hurt myself in some way. It was hard lying to my father each time he saw a new bruise. Dolores would always be there when he asked; watching and listening to my answer. When I turned nine, I finally realized that the woman who gave birth to me never loved me. During one of her rare drinking episodes, she finally told me how a disgrace I was to her. My father was working late and I had to take care of the drunken woman that night. She began to hysterically cry on how she used to be the only woman my father loved and how I ruined her life for being born. I could never forget her words; they haunt me every night when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.