The Road to Forgiveness

Her Pride

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update. I was busy with school and preparing for finals. But thankfully, they're all done now so I can finally update. I will be updating throughout the holiday break. Hope you all like it! xoxo

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Can's mind was racing as he jumped into his truck. He couldn't stop replaying their last encounter and as he recounted her words to him, he couldn't help but feel a wave of regret as the truth of her words washed over him. He was never one to look back at the past and commiserate. He lived in a world of black and white, there was no grey area. Sanem had lied to him, kept things from him. He couldn't forgive her, no matter how justified she felt she was in her actions. But he couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret at how he so quickly dismissed her when the truth came out. He loved her but he didn't afford her even the smallest opportunity to explain her point of view. And what's worse, he told her that she was like everyone else to him now. They both knew that wasn't true. She was a hundred times more special, more precious to him, than anyone else in his life. He felt a connection to her that he'd never felt to another human being, another girlfriend, including Polen. But he threw all that aside in the heat of the moment. And now he might never have the chance to make things right with her. She would leave him alone he would have nothing but the solace of the mountains through which to take comfort. Mountains that now remind him of Sanem. His thoughts continued to plague him as he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. He parked quickly, threw open the door, and raced towards the front doors. He had to get to her.

Sanem was trying to get out of the bed, while her sister, the man who had hit her, Yigit, and the nurse struggled to keep her in it. She had a headache but other than that, she felt fine. She couldn't stay here. She wanted to get as far away from Istanbul as possible. Away from her job. Away from her neighborhood. Away from everything that reminded her of him. She felt as though she was suffocating. Can used to be her anchor. But he had pulled her safety net away and let her drown. She couldn't breathe when she was away from him. But she also couldn't breathe when she would see him. He was the one she had loved the most but he had rejected her love, casting her aside as if she was one of his ex-girlfriends. Well, all of them except Polen. He didn't mind her company. In fact, he welcomed it. Seeing Polen practically drape herself over Can was destroying her. She couldn't stay here. At least not for now. She would go to Antalya to visit her aunt and focus on writing and healing he heart.

She continued struggling with Leyla, shouting that she had to leave, when all of a sudden, the door flew open, bouncing off the wall with a loud bang. Her head turned to see Can practically running towards her with a frantic look on his face, mired with what looked like concern and fear. Her heart warmed at the sight of him but she sternly reminded herself what he had said to her and how quickly he had rejected her.

Can approached the bed, breathing heavily and running a trembling hand through his hair to clam himself down. He sat beside her on the bed and while he hesitated at first, stroked the side of her head. He looked into her questioning eyes and even though his lip quivered at first, he let out a shaky breath and asked her in a trembling voice, "Iyi misin?"

Sanem looked at the man she thought would always protect her, would always defend her, would always understand her, would always love her. She steadily held his gaze. She resisted the urge to close her eyes when she felt his touch. Her compassionate nature battled with her hurt ego and newfound resilience, her desire to protect herself. The latter won out.

"I'm fine, Can Bey. Thank you for coming all this way to the hospital, you didn't need to take the trouble to do that for an employee. As you can see, I'm fine and my sister was just helping me get up so I can leave. I don't know why you came. I'm sure you have plans with Polen, anyway."

She didn't flinch. She didn't equivocate. She didn't even hesitate when she made a point to emphasize that she was an employee. If she was going to be just like everyone else to Can from now on, she would act like that.

Can was taken aback. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't missed the part where he had referred to her as an employee. And why wouldn't she? He had made no qualms about treating her as such. But it was the part about Polen that infuriated him.

Trying to calm himself and nurse his bruised ego, he quickly responded, "Of course I came, Sanem. When Emre told me, I was so worried. If something had happened to you – "

Sanem held up her hand to cut him off. She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't keep doing this dance with him, a dance that undoubtedly fed his ego but left her shattered in the process.

"What? If something had happened to me, what would happen? I am just like everyone else to you, remember? I am not special to you anymore. Maybe you would have been upset at first, yes. But you would have eventually left for your new job. You would have left Istanbul with Polen and never thought of me again."

"What are you saying, Sanem? And why do you keep bringing up Polen? She has nothing to do with this?"

"Are you serious, Can? She has EVERYTHING to do with this. You tossed me aside like yesterday's trash because I lied to you. Even though I gave my perfume to Fabri to save your life. And you won't forgive me. But you still want to have a say in how I live my life. Even though you have no problem flaunting Polen in front of the office, kissing her, hugging her, getting close to her, in front of everyone. It wasn't bad enough for you to just toss me aside, but you had to destroy what was left of my pride after you did."

Every word she said felt like a knife in his heart. But what was worse was that he couldn't deny what she said. He had treated her as though she was nothing to him. After looking down at his feet to compose himself, he glanced up and for the first time, noticed a bearded man standing at the foot of the bed with an uncomfortable look on his face. "Excuse me, who are you? I don't think we've ever met before."

Sanem braced herself for the explosion that might come if Can found out that this was the man who hit her. The man looked at Can, looked at Sanem, and then returned his gaze to the protective man he surmised was Sanem's ex-boyfriend. "My name is Yigit. Sanem and I have just met."

Can furrowed his brow, confused. His mind racing and an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach, he asked, "Just met? You work in the hospital? Are you a friend of Leyla's"?

Yigit looked uneasy, shuffling his feet and looking downward. He raised his head and his look of regret all but confirmed Can's suspicions.

"I was driving the car that hit Sanem."