A World No Longer Heliocentric

16: Liam

"You're staying with me," I decide. "I don't care about your parents."

"Where are you staying?" she asks, stopping her pacing.

"I called my dad and he got me a small studio in town," I reply. "I'm staying there. You can't stay in this house with those people." I couldn't lose her. She was all I had and besides me, Willow is all she has. So I knew she wouldn't say no.

After I told my dad that I cut myself off from Mom after she chose herself over me, he was suddenly happy. He said he and I could get a house in California, where he lives now, but I refused and he couldn't leave work so he bought me a studio. Maybe it was a little bigger than a studio because of his new job but I didn't want to make her feel bad. Dad said I could start saving my money instead of paying for Mom because it turns out, he's been paying for her bills this whole time and secretly putting the money in the bank by collaborating with the hospital over the bills.

"No," she says. "I can't do that. I'm sorry."

"Oh," I try not to let the disappointment show. I've been so focused on the drama in both of our lives that I didn't even realize how young we are, not to mention only a few months in our relationship. But she seems to have it on her mind all the time. Just then, her eyes roll back in her head and she collapses, her body went limp. Blood pools out of her nose and she lets out a groan, her body twitching.

"Bella!" I scream, scrambling to her side and picking her up. "I'm going to get help. You're gonna be okay." She was right. I couldn't act like everything would be okay. I needed to live in the moment, and right now, I have to fight for her life. Running downstairs with her in my arms, I shove past her parents screaming in the kitchen. They both look at their daughter, limp in my arms, silently. "Really?! It took your daughter collapsing for you to finally see her?" I push the door open, speeding down the steps. An ambulance wouldn't get there in time. I needed to drive her to the hospital.

Her dad starts speeding up in his car behind us. I keep glancing behind me in the back seat where she lies sprawled out across the seats. I needed to call Willow, her only other person. Scrambling with my hand on the wheel and my other on Bells' phone, I use Siri to call her.

"Bella, I can't talk right now-"

"It's Liam," I say quickly. "Bella collapsed, and there's a lot of blood coming out of her nose and her whole body is twitching. You need to get to the hospital. I'll meet you there.

"Listen to me, Liam," her voice becomes low and serious like she knew exactly what to do. "Make sure she is breathing."

"I did," my heart squeezes in my chest as I think of the possibility of losing her. "Oh god, Willow, is she going to be okay?"

"I'm meeting you at the hospital," she replies, hanging up. My phone goes dead and I chuck it on the passenger seat. This isn't happening. This isn't real. But it is. When I pull into the hospital parking lot, I take her in my arms and sprint into the hospital.

"Help!" I yell, my arms shaking. I'm so scared I'm going to drop her.

"Bella?" one of the nurses exclaims. "Someone get me a gurney! It's Bella!" I guess she knows her because Bella is here so often. Whispering in Bella's ear once they get her on a gurney, the nurse says: "You listen to me, Bella. This is it. This is what we've been fighting for years. This is the fight for your life. I believe in you." Why was she saying that? I grip Bella's limp hand tightly.

"What's happening to her?" I demand, my voice shaking.

"And you are?" she says, as we race the gurney through the hallway.

"Liam," I reply. "Her boyfriend."

"Nice to finally meet you," she says, her voice busy. "Let's save the chitchat for later. I have to take her into surgery right away, or she could die."
"But I thought the treatment was working," I reply.

"The treatment, IL2, is designed to make the body attack itself because the body is becoming cancer," she says and I look at her cluelessly. "Think of it like this. The cancer is a host taking over your girl's body. If you don't kill it, it will kill you." All I can think about is her. Not losing her because I'm not even capable of registering what that would be like. I don't want to imagine it.

"Liam?" a voice calls. I turn to see Valerie, my mother's night nurse the night she tried to kill herself, coming towards me. "What are you doing?" Her smile fades when she sees them taking away Bella.

"Cancer," I say to the look on her face.

"Shit," she sighs. "I'm sorry."

"She's had it for a while," I tell her. "Since seventh grade. I can't lose her, Valerie. She's all I have. I can't lose her. I can't." I can't remember the last time I cried but my heart sinks into my stomach and my hands ball into fists. "I love her."

"What about your mom?" she asks.

"She chose herself."

"I'm sorry, Liam," she sighs. "I know you probably don't want to hear this but it's not uncommon for people with bipolarity to succumb to their disease."

"I really don't care anymore," I say. "I can't think about the people who abandoned me over and over. I need to be there for the ones who stayed there for me."

"Still considering a therapist?"

"Actually, yes."