A World No Longer Heliocentric

9: Liam

She didn't understand what I've been through. Yes, it became my own. Yes, my life changed forever. But I didn't lose who I was. I change my mind. She's weak and frail like a little child. Acting all innocent and perfect but managing to pick out everything negative she could muster. Honestly, how does she expect to get anywhere the way she is?

"Screw you," I said a minute ago. I could feel the vein in my forehead popping like crazy, my heartbeat in my ears. "I can't have a normal conversation without you trying to turn it into something dark." She has a million thoughts as her facial expression changes every second. But eventually, it lies in her own stubbornness. For a second, I thought she'd take back her words but she doesn't say anything, sitting there with her arms crossed.

Just then, it crossed my mind. She picks away at everything because she doesn't expect to go anywhere. I watch her sitting there, staring at a spot on the coffee table, her arms crossed. But there's a flicker in her eyes like she's fighting herself. She wants to stay with her feelings but she's drifting. Red circles have formed under her eyes, contrasting from her fair skin that looks sickly right now.

"I'm sorry," she finally manages. "Can we just change the subject?" Something about her fascinates me, her complexity with her emotions, how she feels so many at once. She doesn't try to bury them or hide it on her face, only when she feels pain does she try to hide. But she hides the pain so she can calm down. She seemed to be trying to hide her expressions right now because she looks contorted, confused.

"Okay," I say, grinning. "So this is weird to ask, but you know Jack Reynolds? Well, he has a thing for Willow." At this, Bella bursts out laughing, clutching her stomach. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, you're serious," she still laughs. "He's a complete asshole to her- Oh! You guys are best friends, right? Didn't he used to date Madison's friend?"

"Yup."

"And cheated on her?"

"Now now," I hold up a finger. "He was never really into either of them. He was into Willow the whole time." She looks at me questioningly, like she's deciding whether she believes me or not. Shrugging, she takes another sip of her milkshake.

"I can see that," she says, looking off at the ceiling. "Willow is going to flip. The one type of guy she's never dated is a hockey player. But I swear, if he's an asshole to her, you're the one who's gonna get a beating."

"From who? You?" I laugh. "What are you going to do? Punch me?" She pouts, defeated. "That's what I thought. And no, he's a good guy, trust me."

We continue talking for a while, though, time flies by so fast that I start having to squint at her because the sun goes down. Apparently, she loves to read, everything from murder mystery novels to 1800s classics. I hate to read. But for some reason, when she describes Pride and Prejudice, I want to read it. She knew every detail about every aspect of the book down to the colors of the characters' eyes.

I asked her about football, what she knows about playing football. Of course, she knew nothing. For once, she's the one who's dumbfounded when I describe the different positions, forward, quarterback, linebacker, wide receiver, etc. She started to show frustration as I continue to describe what happens to play football. After switching on the lights and throwing out our shakes, I come back to her with a notepad and a pen, her physics notepad.

"So the linebacker is..." she mutters to herself, scribbling away on the notepad. Even at a fast pace, her handwriting is perfect, like calligraphy. The denseness of the pen on the paper changed throughout her a's and her m's, almost as if she perfected this.

"Are you seriously writing this stuff down?" I chuckle, plopping on the couch next to her. "It's not that hard to remember," I say all the positions again, but slower, along with their roles in the game and which, in my opinion, are the most important and which are the least relevant. She watches my mouth like she's trying to capture every word I say.

"You know you don't need to have memorized everything I said?" I tell her. "Honestly, I don't really remember anything about Pride and Prejudice but you need to make me want to read it at least." She looks slightly offended for a moment before rolling her eyes and putting down her notebook.

The pink under her eyes has faded to her usual fair skin with her slightly rosy cheeks. Her hair cups her cheeks, masking her beauty. I try to resist not reaching for her cheeks and brushing her hair out of her face so I could see her. The words escape me like an impulse out of me before I can stop them.

"Will you go out with me?" I blurt out, trying not to sound too eager. She blushes, a smile creeping on her lips as she turns away from me for a moment. I think about all the possible ways she could reject me, for all the reasons. I'm not smart enough. I don't like the same things she does. I'm not attractive. She'd never see me that way. My mind raced with the possibilities as I stare at her, awaiting an answer.

"Yes," she blushes, her hands shaking a bit. I smile at her nervousness, my own stomach dancing. Since her dad won't be home until tomorrow night, she turns on the TV and we scroll through the movies on Apple TV.

"What about 'The Shining'?" I suggest, propping my feet up on the coffee table. She shakes her head violently, scrolling quickly away from the listings of horror movies. I grin. "We're watching 'The Shining'."

"No," she declares. "I am not watching horror movies. I will watch action, sci-fi, black and white, documentaries, romance, anything--but horror movies." But I only grin even more, ready to fight her on this. Leaning over her, I yanked the remote out of her hand. She lets out a yelp and then sinks back into the couch when I successfully thrust the remote from her hands.

"You-" I smirk. "Don't have a choice. We're watching it." I scroll back up to the horror movies and slide right to "The Shining". She tries to snatch the remote back, but I pass it to my right hand and lean my arm out all the way so she can't reach it. "What? You scared?"

"No," she says in all seriousness. "I just hate surprises." I roll my eyes as she continues to try to lean over me to grab the remote. She smells like vanilla shampoo and like a hospital honestly. For a second, I feel guilty making her watch it, remembering what she's been through. But then, I remember it's a stupid movie and she wouldn't want to pity her. Eventually, she gives up fighting for the remote and lies back defeated.

Pressing play, I settle in next to her. Already, five minutes in, Bella covers her eyes. Every few seconds, she covers her eyes when it seems that there will be a jump scare. When there finally is one, she screams, burying her face in my arm. I put my arm around her so she's burying her face in my chest. She doesn't even realize how close we are but I do. A warm sensation wherever we touch builds up inside me and I relish having her in my arms. But the next jump scare, she doesn't look away, her eyes open wide. They keep widening if that's even possible. But she's still squeezing my arm tightly as I hold her, her fingers white.

When the movie's over, she doesn't quickly move away from me but she looks back at me, shifting her position in my arms. With her eyes filled with wonder and her lips spread into a smile, she beams at me.

"We have to watch another one," she says with excitement. I check my watch, the time reading 10:13. We've been together for more than ten hours.