Rise || Ben Solo

Episode I: Dying Breath

"that's how we're gonna win, not fighting what we hate, saving what we love." - Rose Tico

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His hand grasped onto the surface, groaning as he pulled himself up. He crawled across the rocky floor as his body ached, unable to stand himself up. But he had to get to her. His jaw clenched in determination at the sight of her body. White clothing stained from the dirty ground she now lied on. He pushed himself up with all the strength he could muster, stumbling on his wounded leg until he reached her. He held back his tears as he fell beside her, maneuvering himself and her limp body so that he could hold her in his arms.

She was gone. Pale skin and still, glassy eyes were all that were left of her.

He pulled her towards him, one hand gently supporting her head and the other wrapped around her body. He was cradling her, memorizing how the soft brush of her hair felt against his skin. He had never held her. And now that he could, it was only when she was gone. He desperately wanted to tell her that she was right, that what she saw on Ahch-To had come to fruition and that... That they had won.

But it didn't feel like that. Not by the hollowness that seemed to consume him or how her skin was beginning to turn cold beneath his touch. He shut his eyes closed, desperately reaching out. Searching for the warmth of their bond.

A flutter of life-force.

Ben pulled back from her, staring at her incredulously through blurry eyes.

She was alive. Barely. And she was slipping away from him in his very arms. He had to save her. It was the only thing he could do, to pay for all his sins and the torment he had inflicted. Even if it meant losing himself.

A blur of blue in his periphery caught his attention. He looked up, seeing a young man with curly hair standing before him. His grandfather. He recalled the countless pleas he had made to the mask of the man he had modelled himself after. Now he understood why they hadn't been answered. He was no heir to Vader - he was a Skywalker. His grandfather had a pained expression that reflected his own. He hadn't been able to save his grandmother.

He wouldn't lose Rey.

The Force-ghost nodded at him encouragingly, his eyes flitting between him and Rey.

Ben slid his hand onto her abdomen, closing his eyes in concentration.

He could hear the sound of his breath and the pounding of his heart through his chest. He recalled how it had felt when she had healed him, like pure light coursed through his veins. He tried to embody that, feeling the Force surrounding them both and delving into the life-force within him. He directed it into her, letting her take it all.

The silence suspenseful as he waited.

She had to live. She had to.

A warm hand gently touched his.

His eyes opened, jumping at the touch. She was awake. Her doe-like eyes staring up at him in astonishment, shifting to sit up in his arms. She blinked several times, her hand still gently caressing his, as though unsure if it was real.

She took the breath out of his lungs. Waves of emotion crashed against his chest as he searched her face. The pink hue in her cheeks, the rhythmic movement of her chest and the pure glow of her. Even in the darkness of this terrible abyss, she was still shining bright. Like an Angel.

He had done it.

He had done it. Rey was alive, sitting in his arms and staring at him like nobody had. Like he mattered. Like this is who he was always meant to be.

A smile overcame her features.

"Ben," she said softly, her lips caressing the name.

He could barely breathe let alone speak.

Her hand shakily came up to his face, tracing the edges of his face. Her thumb sketching where his scar had once been. A tear escaped up as he gave her a watery smile and she caught it easily.

"Rey," he whispered thickly.

Before he could process what was happening, her hand pulled his face towards her and captured his lips heatedly. His arms curled around her tightly, his senses overwhelmed with euphoria. Soft lips and the taste of pure starlight, that was Rey. And, he loved her.

She pulled away gently, distance returning between them. Her smile lit up at him but when she saw that his expression hadn't mirrored her own - it sunk into uncertainty. But he had been so intoxicated by her, he was unable to think. He grinned, chuckling as she brushed her thumb at the corner of his lips. Her own smile returning instantly.

Ben embraced it, the quiver of light which had settled inside him. And with its acceptance he had realised that nothing had ever felt so quiet in the discourse of his mind. So, this was peace.

A shift in the Force. All too familiar and... Motherly. It was different now, like there was a gentleness in her passing. His mother knew he would turn, he realised. She had been waiting, desperately holding out for him to find his way back into the light so that she could rest knowing her sacrifices were not in vain, and that her son was alive. Ben Solo was alive.

He wound his large arms around Rey, who had also sensed it, pulling her into a tight hug and shutting his eyes. She gripped onto his black sweater, her other hand threading through the hair at the nape of his neck comfortingly. When the tears slowly began to fade, he opened his eyes.

His grandfather was joined with his mother, now a Force-ghost, and his Uncle. His grandfather smiled proudly, and his mother had never looked more at peace. His Uncle stared at him before it melted into a smile. They faded away, leaving him with his heart of hope.

Balance was restored in the galaxy.