Artificial Love || Minho

47 || Cry

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I don't know how long I've sat here, or for how long I've cried. The leaves above the park bench gently whistle above me, wind breezing against the apples of my tear stained cheeks.

After everything, I just felt like I couldn't handle it anymore.

I ran, I ran as hard as could, away from there, away from you. After residing myself into a quiet, gentle corner of a small park, I pulled my legs up to my chest, and just let everything spill out of myself.

I'm such a terrible person.

I should have been more understanding, more patient. I shouldn't have put those words out loud, I shouldn't have ran away. I wish I never yelled at my best friend, the only person who has ever cared for me or gave me comfort.

I shouldn't, I shouldn't, I shouldn't.

I shouldn't have been so selfish.

Why?

Tears well up in my eyes again, my emotions hanging on the cliff of breaking. I feel a droplet of water cascade down my face, and I let out another soft cry.

Why can't I act normal when it comes to you?

Past me wouldn't have done this. Past me would have kept my feelings shut, locked away and never spoken behind gates. Past me would never have gotten even close to mad at Jisung, or have just stupidly take off on someone who doesn't even know what they did.

Why does it hurt so much?

I sniff again, using the back of my hand to wipe away more tears.

Stupid Minah, the answer's obvious.

It didn't take long for me to start crying again. The silent atmosphere was filled with muffled sniffling, along with the occasional sobs that painfully escaped my throat.

I miss you.

Why can't you be here?

Will my words to you have no meaning anymore?

I just want everything to be over.

Now matter how much I tried to scrub the tears away, they just wouldn't stop falling. I sat in the park for the next few minutes, alone, still riding fresh on my pain and tears.

Everything hurt so much, my vision going blurry as my throat went dry. I was so busy crying in fact, that I didn't even notice the wavering figure among the corner of my eye. It walks closer to me, footsteps echoing until I sense his presence.

I pause my sobs as I look up, and he stops in his tracks.

"Jisung...?"

The boy stays there, winter jacket wrapped around him as a pair of glasses sit upon the bridge of his nose. His hair was slightly tousled from the wind, but the shock of even seeing my best friend here was enough to write off all the worry written over his face.

"Hey."

"I..." I open my mouth, until I come to realise how much of a mess I probably look like right now. Immediately, I stand up, hands coming up as I furiously try to wipe away my tears. "I'm, sorry- give me, a quick moment-"

But before I could finish my sentence, I feel a pair of arms come around to hold me, my face suddenly buried in the crook of someone's neck. Jisung wasn't saying a word, I then feeling his hand come up to rest against the back of my head, other one timidly draping upon my waist.

"Cry it out." A gentle voice whispers, and that was enough to crash all the walls I've build up into oblivion.

In one of those spilt seconds, I had completely forgotten about our fight.

I cling onto him, to the warmth and kindness of my best friend, to the platonic love that I care so much for.

I bawl, my voice louder than it has probably ever been in my entire life. I cry and cry, wailing into the shoulder of Jisung's jacket. My nose was red, the muscles of my chin trembling like a small child as I feel my hands form into fists as they come around the boy's back. Tears burned my eyes, and all the while during my pathetic sobs, Jisung just stands there, holding me ever so gently and tightly.

I haven't cried like this in a long time.

Maybe it was because the fact I never let myself- I was always told to be strong, to not let your emotions get to the best of you. Crying won't do you any good, it's only there to emphasise a form of weakness.

It's pathetic, it's pitiful-

but more importantly, it worries people.

I always, have been terrified to be selfish.

I tried to wipe clean any last sort of burden, to never let anyone suffer because of me.

It has always been like this, and I have always been fine.

But when you came along, every part of my emotions had changed.

A bottle can only hold so much; and eventually, it will spill.

So I don't let go, nor do I try to resist. I just stay there, bursting everything out through the ugly sobs that relentlessly attack my body. This is maybe the only time I've every truly cried outside of being with Minho, and I let myself take advantage of it.

While doing so, the boy beside me remains completely silent. Usually by this time he would try to say something, or give me a word of comfort, but I think he's realised how much I really need this. So, he doesn't talk, only to hold me as I shake and wail against him, arms shielding me from the outside world.

And so, upon the breezy winter winds and under the canopy of the dancing willow trees, I cry in Jisung's embrace, no words needed as he holds me together.

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Here's some angst to give you and me the feels I need to pass my math tomorrow that I'm absolutely terrified for