Cold At Dusk

chapter six

"If we are faithless
He will remain faithful
For he can not disown himself. "

Kamsiriochukwu had read the Bible verse most mornings and nights she knelt to pray, When her faith was so little that it seemed sinful even . She had not been a good church goer in her university days. She had followed Maka to church twice in her final year and she was made leader of the drama group without interview or investigation. It was what brought her closer to the church - That was the sole purpose of the post. She had thought she could not act on stage but the post made her realize that  people could do anything if they just try.

That Bible verse did not leave her lips that morning. She had gone to pick her test result with Ella, her newly acquired handbag . Her little faith was still ringing negativity while she still hoped for positivity.

She waited for long in the reception before she was ushered in to see the lab scientist. The hospital was owned by Okechukwu, Michelle's brother. Michelle had directed her to the place. The two times she came she did not get to see the man. Maybe it would have made things faster for her.

"Is this your first pregnancy? " the lab scientist asked.

She nodded vigorously, her face about to split open at a close moment because of the huge smile that widened her lips to the point of nearing her eyes. Her heart did not have enough room to contain her excitement.

Ella was on her lap, clutching her teddy bear school bag to her chest.

"You will like to do your antenatal check up here, yeah? " the man asked.

She nodded again. Ella looked at her and also nodded. It made the scientist to smile.

"Not yours? "He asked.

"Yes. My husband's niece."

The scientist kept writing on a piece paper then he advised her on how to eat and exercises to engage in henceforth.

They stood outside and waited for a taxi, when the taxi was not forth coming, she flagged down a bike and hopped on behind Ella.

Her husband owned three cars, a black Range Rover which he constantly used, a white Hilux and a red Toyota Camry. It was the Toyota Camry that Kamsi had severally pleaded for  but he preferred to handle his cars himself. She was always left with no other option but to stand on the road and use any means of public transportation that would take her to her destination.

In the past years, she had imagined ways she would break the good news of her pregnancy to her husband, she had imagined the excitement she would have when she jumped on him giving the  good news.
The day finally came and it was all different. She was now  certain her child was growing in her womb but she was not excited enough to jump on anyone, she could jump on her mother and every other person but not Mark.

She smiled, rubbing her tummy. "I'm going to have a baby."

"Baby?" The little girl asked. She was standing close to the cushion where Kamsi sat still clutching her brown teddy bag.

Kamsi nodded in reply to her question . "Baby. I'm going to have a baby."

As she said it, her lachrymal glands decided to let loose . she fought the tears but they dropped any way. She could not forget  how faithless she had been, how defeated she had felt ,  how she had managed to be strong the past years when she was reminded by the remarks of others that she did not have a child.

Ella raised her little hand to Kamsi's face,

"Why are you crying? Mummy does not cry."

Kamsi began to laugh as she scooped the little girl into her arms.

"God mummy cries when she's happy, " she replied.

The little girl nodded as if she understood.

" You are going to have a boy like ju-ju" the little girl said. Ju-ju was what she called her little brother.

"Or a girl like you. "

"No oo. Mummy said I'm trouble. She's going to sell me"

Kamsi bust into a fit of laughter looking at the little girl's face, worried that she was going to be sold.

"Mummy was joking. She loves you. "

"I know. "

Kamsi watched her as she wriggled her hands then she hopped down.

"I'm going to build another castle! " she announced.
She dropped her bag and began bringing out her building blocks from the back of the cushion.

She knelt down and began fixing them on the centre table. Kamsi watched her for a while before she stood and went into the kitchen to prepare food.

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Kamsi was happy when the little girl slept immediately after dinner. She was always awake till very late at night. Kamsi had thought it had to do with her being uncomfortable in the environment but her mother had said it was her normal behavior.

She tucked the little girl into the bed of the guest room upstairs she had arranged for her. She had to put the Mackintosh she came with on the bed before placing a bedsheet to prevent her urine at night from touching the foam. She still woke up at midnight to check on her and take her to ease  herself but that only stopped the bed wetting on some days. Other days, it did not.

She hurried downstairs as she heard the door bell. Mark had not yet returned from Work . He now returned later than usual from work. She had in mind all she would do to stop their quarrel especially now they were expecting a child.

She opened the door and immediately placed a kiss on his lips. He walked in with his jacket and his suitcase in hand, his tie loose, his shirt unbuttoned to reveal his white singlet.

"How was your day at work? " She asked skipping after him as he climbed the stairs.

"Just normal."

" Just normal, not stressful, nothing ?" she said.

He turned quickly to look at her then continued walking up the stairs.

'I'll puncture this wall with your face , you this annoying man.' She said in her mind, her face was squeezed together in anger. She was trying to strike a conversation and he was making it difficult.

He opened the door to his room and stepped in, Kamsi followed, not giving up.

" Is everything alright at work? You have been coming home late."

He sat down on the bed with more force than was required .

"Is there something wrong with you ? I came home after a long day at work and you are following me about, throwing rubbish questions at me. "

Kamsi stood fixed to where she was standing, all her energy to resolve the quarrel gone. She watched him start unbuttoning his shirt then she walked closer to the bed.

"There's nothing much wrong with me, " she said, pulling out the test result from the pocket of her short. "I'm your wife and I'm pregnant that's all that is wrong with me."

She threw the piece of paper on him and walked to the door quickly. Even if she had walked slowly, the man on the bed would not have had the strength to call her back. The news she threw in that manner had numbed his senses that all he did was stare at the paper before him, mesmerized.