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Chapter 106 : Since Childhood

Fire, “I don’t want you to feel lonely.”

When He Jin looked at this sentence, he felt the warmth and comforted, even though he didn’t want to admit his feelings. But then, he sensed that something’s not right again, has he already forgiven this big liar?

Also, it’s a bit weird for He Jin – since Qin Yang had already told him about his identity, why did he still sometimes send messages from his usual account, sometimes from “me”? Has Qin Yang been addicted to playing different identities?

Ah Jin, “in the beginning, did you specifically register for this account to talk to me?”

Fire, “yeah, it was my first time playing with it.”

Ah Jin, “you never had a ‘me’ account before?”

TN:“me” is used very frequently among youngsters. Almost everyone had an account. It combines the characteristics of all social media such as “inside school”, “WeChat”, “QQ” and “Weibo”. You can text, upload latest news, transfer money and pay online via this app…

He Jin thought that almost every University student would have a “me” account.

Fire, “no, but I’d heard of it. It’s just that I don’t really like this kind of tools. They’re too troublesome for me.”

He Jin felt the same. Initially, He Jin added too many friends on the app, and those were the people that he met through the student club. There’s no practical need to know them deeply, and he’s also tired of the shallow talk that he had to keep up with.

In fact, it’s understandable – since Qin Yang is so popular in school, if he used his real identity on “me”, he might get bombarded every day.

When He Jin thought of Valentine’s Day, a girl told Qin Yang that she liked him in the KTV room, he asked out of jealousy, “is it true that you’ve had admirers since you were small?” After sending the message, He Jin started to regret. Did he just show that he cared about Qin Yang?

Fire, “do you mean in reality? Not that small, maybe starting from grade 3 of middle school.”

Ah Jin, “that’s small enough…”

However, when He Jin thought about it, he had a similar experience in middle school. Since he did well academically and he’s also a class committee member, he often heard rumors about different girls admiring him.

There was a brave girl who wrote a love letter to him, but it’s not a nice memory for He Jin. It’s because out of some reason, his mother found out about the incident, and she asked their class teacher for the girl’s home phone number. Then, his mother called the parents of the girl and seriously warned them to control their kid. Her attitude was very rude and unpleasant.

He Jin still recalled having overheard that phone call, and he was full of guilt and shame.

It’s a wonderful thing to be admired and pursued. He Jin, who received a love letter for the first time in his life, was also very excited and thrilled. But his mother had turned the whole thing into something disgusting.

The next day, the girl ran to his classroom with swollen eyes, opened a bottle of water and spilled it onto him, she also torn his mathematics book apart and yelled, “He Jin, I hate you!” ……

At that time, He Jin was sitting there foolishly, and he couldn’t even utter an apology…he didn’t know what to do, and there were simply no alternatives. After his mother made that call, she shouted at him fiercely and warned him not to talk to that girl who’s “shameless” anymore.

The girl was from another class, and was a member of the literature committee. She’s pretty and she also did well academically. Whenever there were activities in school, she was often invited to be the host…and it turned out to be that simple to be hated.

He Jin’s self-loathing seems to have started from that time. He hates his cowardice. He felt that he’s not worthy of admiration. The only thing he could do was to put all his focus on studying, and he couldn’t recall how many times he’d rejected girls who admired him. It could be that whenever someone tried to get close, he would sense it at once and he’d always use nonchalance and indifference to disguise himself.

When he got into University, he could temporarily free himself from that woman’s manipulation, and he also met Tong Xuan who’s friendly and warm, it gave him the courage to make the first step. But it also failed in the end…

Sometimes, He Jin thought, if his mother didn’t interfere with the love letter incident, could he have grown to be more “normal”? At least, he also had good feelings toward that girl back then.

Qin Yang sent him another message, “do you know why I only started to have admirers in grade 3?”

Ah Jin, “why?”

Fire, “it’s because of you.”

Ah Jin, “what does it have to do with me?”

Fire, “do you still remember that our family moved to A city ten years ago?”

Ah Jin, “yes I remember.”

Fire, “that year, my mother passed away. My dad was occupied with his business in A city and he didn’t remarry, nor have time for me. He spent some money to send me to a famous middle school, and the students there were mostly from the local area. I didn’t like studying and I performed badly. Every time, I was in the last place in class. As I was rebellious, my classmates didn’t like me and they looked down on me too. Especially when I got in because of money, not because I performed well, haha.”

He Jin, “…” no wonder Fire was always alone in the game, and he didn’t even team up with the others to fight a monkey.

Fire, “almost after  two years, I was still alone all the time.”