Much Ado About Clothing

Issue# 1 Origin Story

I guess for all this to make sense, I'll have to go back about four years and tell you how I got my job.

It all started when Metallurgy and The Chemist were having that epic battle. You know the one where they trashed Princeboro so bad that the fight spilled over into Inglehaven? Well, The Chemist set off a bomb that blew Metallurgy halfway across town and he landed in the front room of my parent's house. Mom and Dad were on a cruise, and I happened to be house sitting and taking care of the family dachshund. One minute Long John and I were watching Monster Squad on AMC, the next he crashed through the bay window. Terrified, Long John and I had leapt onto the back of the couch and stared at the bedraggled being splayed out on my mom's berber. He was a complete mess; unconscious, bloody, smoking, and his suit was in shreds. It had been burned and torn so badly there was almost nothing left. His scaled metal cape and a few pieces of body armor were intact, but the pouch of his tool belt was about the only thing keeping him decent. Finally, the shock wore off and I realized who he was. I crept over to his still form and waved my hand in front of his face.

"Metallurgy?"

I said timidly. There was no response, but up close I could see that he was breathing.

"Metallurgy? Sir?"

I reached a trembling hand to his shoulder and gently shook him. Still nothing. I looked back at Long John helplessly.

"I guess he's really passed..."

Before I could finish the sentence, he suddenly sat bolt upright and roared,

"Noooooooooooooo!"

I shrieked and scooted back.

"Citizen! Citizen! Don't kill me!"

I yelled, using the general public identification that the people of Princeboro and its surrounding towns are taught to use if we are ever caught in an altercation with Supers.

Metallurgy looked around in confusion, saw my cowering position and seemed to relax.

"Citizen, at ease."

I lowered my outstretched palms and faced him.

"Citizen, where is The Chemist?"

"The Chemist? I...I don't know...I was watching TV and you crashed through my window."

I gestured at the gaping hole in the wall and the general disorder. His eyes traveled around the room and landed on the still functioning TV.

"Would you mind switching that to the news?"

I did what he asked, and together we watched footage of the massive amount of destruction the battle had caused. Eventually, they got to the information Metallurgy wanted, a report about where The Chemist was last spotted and a theory on what he was doing. They guessed he was still here in Inglehaven and most likely searching for Metallurgy.

"Citizen, thank you for your assistance. I must go."

He struggled to get to his feet, but didn't quite make it.

"Go? Go where?"

"I must stop The Chemist. I need to get back, I must requip myself."

"Back...to Princeboro??"

He nodded absently as he tried to use the coffee table as a prop to pull himself off the floor. He made it to his knees.

"You can't go!" I nearly shouted.

"I must, that is where my supplies are. I have no reserves in...in..."

His brow furrowed and he looked around again.