Times Of Our Lives

May 26th

May 26, 2010

Dear Diary,

                Today was just what I wished for. We had so much fun at the beach. Catherine told me PJ kept throwing me little glances here and there, but I think she's just exaggerating. He was with Blaine for years. They could be together, fot all I know, Couples fight, they break up and they get back together. I don't want to get in the way of anyone's relationship. It's clear he still loves her. There's feelings there, I know. Because when you lose somone, it stays with you. Ugh, I can't believe I've turned into one of those girls who are crushing so hard on one guy! Yes, he's special. He means alot to me, he really does. Truth be told, I liked him a long time ago before Blaine did. When we were all friends. I told her I liked him, and then she started liking him too. So I backed off, and did my own thing. And now, I thought with us being around each other so much .. but nothing's going to happen. Nothing. Because he's taken. And me? Well, I'll find something to keep my mind off of him. Catherine and Leslie think I should just go for it and tell him how I feel. But I can't. I just can't. I mean, what if he just thinks of me as a friend? And everything turns akward again? I don't want to lose his friendship. Because that's the only tie I have to him right now. That sounded so stalkerish. Ugh, yeah I definatly turned into one of those girls. Catherine's rubbing off on me.

               She's totally in love with Joseph. She has been for years. She's never talked to him much or hung out with him. Which is like, so weird. Because when she likes a guy she 'goes for ir'. She tells them exactly what they need to know and then boom! They're wrapped around her little finger. But with Joseph, I don't get that. She doesn't make any effort at all. I watched they way she acts around him tonight, all quiet and shy. Like she doesn't want even let him know. And here she is pushing me to make a move on PJ. And now we're back to that. Ugh. I feel sooo crappy!

             I honestly like him. Do I think about him like crazy? YES! Will that change anything? NO! Things will still be the same and nothing will change. PJ and Blaine will be back together by the end of the summer. And he'll go back to avoiding me.

            So to keep myself distracted from my 'love life' as Haley so blondley puts it, I will spend the rest of my time playing Matchmaker. I've thought it all out. Haley + Crew , Catherine + Joseph , Alison + Jorge, as for Leslie, she claims she needs no guy this summer. But that'll change soon!

                   -Candace