The Sun in My Eyes

21 No Comfort in the Shade of the Shadows Thrown

"And how is Bobby feeling?" Marisol asked. "Lili's out with Henrik, right?"

He snapped on a grin he didn't feel. "Yep. She's a lovely girl, of course he'd want to get to know her."

"You're not worried?" Priya asked.

Marisol poked Bobby's shoulder. "I heard someone say that Lili said she'd be up for it with either of the new guys."

A sick thumping began in Bobby's forehead. She wouldn't say that. Never. Even if she was interested, she wasn't cruel. Refusing to give that another gram of his thoughts, he summoned up a smirk. "Nah. Lili's not pie-ing me off for a rock climber. She likes my cupcakes too much."

Lottie snorted. "Is that what you're calling them?"

"I'm glad you're so confident," Marisol interrupted. "Gary is freaking out."

"Rocco too," Lottie said with a nod. "He's a little more territorial than I expected for someone who grafts on anything that moves. It's annoying."

Bobby tried to dredge up his usual ire for jealousy and any all forms of territorialism, but it no longer felt authentic. He'd been a jealous mess from the moment he'd met Lili. Shame filled him.

"Rahim is Rahim," Priya said. I can't tell how he feels. I think if either of them ask me out he might get jealous. Maybe." Just then, her phone pinged. "Guess we'll find out. Lucas asked me on a date!" She laughed as her phone pinged again. "And so did Henrik! Yes!" She shot up and raced inside without a backward glance.

Marisol shook her head with a smile. "She's excited isn't she?"

"And shameless." Lottie frowned. "That girl has no sense of loyalty."

"Oh don't start," Marisol said.

He laid there for a few minutes while they argued. If Henrik asked Lili out, then Lucas was bound to. Henrik only bothered him a little. But Lucas. Ugh. He folded his arms beneath his head and tried to think of something fun to do that wouldn't involve thinking about dates. Or jealousy. Or—

"Lili!" Lottie said.

Bobby sat up and watched her walk through the villa, his heart pounding. She jiggled sexily beneath her low-cut mini dress. The stark whiteness of the fabric glowed against her skin and he could only imagine how blinded Henrik was by her.

He fought his desire to sweep her into his arms, demanding to know how the date went. He wouldn't make her feel guilty for having a good time without him and he wouldn't be so eager she'd be frightened away. So instead, he got up and jogged toward her, carefree as he could pretend to be.

As he approached, she smiled wide and his heart clanged like church bells. What if she had a good time? What if it turned out that she and Henrik had loads in common?

Fuck. Somehow he had to break free from the monster of jealousy that consumed him. He couldn't allow his wayward emotions to manipulate or trap Lili into staying with him. She had to want it.

But honestly, why would she?

"Hey babe! What'd I miss while I was gone?"

He shrugged. "Just a lot of chat about the new boys, and who is their type, and blah blah blah. Nothing interesting."

She nodded and studied him. He shifted uncomfortably. "Er, I'm working on something though."

"What?"

His brain ping ponged all over the place, searching for an answer. "Pranks!"

Oh Jesus.

Intent on avoiding date talk, he dragged her into the villa to play the worst practical joke of all time. He made it up as he went along, detailing how he'd mix up Rocco and Henrik's clothes.

Even Lili's implacable cheerfulness cracked. "Is that it?"

Maybe he wasn't as good at improvising as he thought. "I mean it's not my greatest prank, but it should work, right?"

"I mean, maybe?"

He convinced her to keep a lookout for anyone coming in while he rearranged the clothes, feeling sillier by the minute.

"Alright," he said when he was done. "Now we play the waiting game."

Lili gave a soft laugh and shook her head. "Your diabolical plan needs more diabolical...ness."

There was such warmth glowing out of her, despite his idiot prank. He reached for her hand.

Ding! She grabbed her phone and he let his hand drop. She bit her lip as she skimmed the screen. "Oh. Um, Lucas invited me on his final date."

He feigned a big smile. Be cool. "Wow. You've got another date? Go you!"

She was silent a moment. "I—I don't think I'm gonna go. I'm not feeling it."

Was she just saying that for his sake? Pretending to not want it so he wouldn't feel bad? Or did she mean it? Either way he should have just shut up but his mouth ran ahead of his brain as usual. "You serious? You should go!"

Her dark eyes held a wariness that worried him. "Bobby, we're coupled up." She said each word slowly as if he didn't understand them. "You shouldn't encourage me to go on dates with other guys."

"I don't care about stuff like that," he said. "Just going on a date with a bloke doesn't mean you're going to immediately fall deeply in love and forget about me, right? You should go and enjoy yourself."

There was a bruised look in her eyes he didn't quite understand. But she blinked it away, squared her shoulders, and gave him her high wattage smile. The pageant smile that rivaled his jokester one for sheer artifice.

Anxiety shot through his nerve endings, making his fingers tingle. She faked that smile for other people. Not for him.

"Alright," she said. "I guess I'll see you later." She leaned over and gave him a cool kiss on the cheek, before turning sharply on her heel. He watched her go, his heart bleeding.

She wasn't shining.

The halo of bright warmth she wore like a second skin was gone. In its place was a fog of wintry gray that frosted the air around her. As the front door of the villa slammed behind her, he shivered. The chill remained long after she'd left.

The thick gray fog stubbornly clung to him like old cobwebs even as he sunned himself in the yard. He rubbed at his arms, realizing that the fog wasn't hers. It never was.

It was his.

And his fog had choked out her warm light, leaving them both in the cold, and leaving Bobby searching hopelessly for where he'd gone wrong.